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anonymous
writes:I've been in a relationship with my Fiancee for a little over 2 years, but before that I was in a serious relationship with someone else, we'll call him T. for over 5 years. However, our relationship was very rocky and he cheated on me and got himself arrested more times than I can count.Anyway, I hadn't seen him since out breakup a few years ago, but I was the one who ended it as I just couldn't handle it anymore and I had met my current partner.Well, last night I saw him for the first time, and seeing him sent this flood of emotions and memories over me. I asked him how he was and he told me he had re-married (this would be his second one, he was married before he met me) and that he'd been arrested many times since our split.When I returned home I told my fiancee I had seen him, and what he had told me. This seemed to make my fiancee angry, and almost instantly put him on the defensive with me. I asked him why, and he told me he didn't wan't T. to try to come back in contact with me, and he did everything in his power to cut him down to me, telling me that there's no way he'd changed that much...and so on.The thing is, my fiancee is still good friends with 2 of his ex's. I never mention it, as I could care less if he is. So, why would he care so much? to me that says he doesn't trust me. I have no desire to be back with T. but part of me needed to know he was doing alright since our split. am I wrong to have freindship type feelings toward him? to care about what happened to him?Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you Lostandalone..No. I have no desire what-so-ever to be with him, but after five years I still wish him the best. I don't think I would have been as effected by seeing him if it wasn't the first time I had...
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reader, Lostandalone +, writes (30 October 2006):
 I wouldn't go so deep as to call this man a WASTE OF SPACE!!! I don't know the gentleman and I like to hold on to the belief that everyone can change. It seems that your fiance has some insecurities that he has to deal with. My grandmother always told me that a person who can't trust is not trustworthy. You haven't given him any reason to believe he can't trust you so what is the big deal??? You do have feelings for you ex and it more than likely shows when you talk about him. People can sense these things. Granted, those feelings might not be sexual but they are special. Talk to your fiance about the trust issue and let him know that you are with him and you can have whoever you want as a friend because he does. Good Luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI understand what you mean, however..I have no desire to be back with my X, if I did, then I would be. But after so long being together, there is a bond regardless. Truthfully T and I would have been much better friends than BF/GF anyway..I just don't understand why my current partner would get so upset with me over talking to him. I just happened to see him, so it's not as though I was out looking for him or something.
I am quite happy with my fiancee, I just feel like he doesn't trust me like I do him...
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2006): It sounds to me as if you are still attracted to your exs bad boy image. Although you ended it you still crave the excitement of that past relationship and the spark of what it meant to you. It may be your partner was jelous of the way you stuck around this t 4 so long, maybe he trying to protect you from making another mistake, but it sounds that you are either really easy going and totally trusting of your fella or he was a scape goat 2 years ago and you have got yourself into a very comfortable rut but either way he doesnt seem to excite you as much as t did as you would nt have had floods of memories and emotions as you say you had. Instead you would have thought of all the times you would have been on your own night after night while he was banged up or all the diseases he could have passed on to you through his selfish thoughtless ways of being with other women while you were faithfully. You would have thought of all the times you cried over this slime ball and not thought of him as a friend get your act together girl and see him for what he is a big WASTE OF SPACE and if your not happy with your partner have time on your own to sort out what type of man floats your boat good luck
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