A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am seeing a guy i work with and its been going on for about 3 months i stay at his place, and he comes to mine but what I hate is when he comes to mine he doesnt stay the night because its just sex so i feel used. But when i go to his place he hugs me all night long and holds my hand in bed and then takes me into work the next day. I have become addicted to the sex cuz its so good and also it feels like im in a relationship because i work with him, yet i'm not. He comes to my office a lot to talk or asks me to go for walks with him (but nothing sexual happens no kissing nothing its weird) he even makes me lunch in the kitchen and calls me when its ready and flirts with me infront of others, i never go to him cuz i dont like to chase guys and i like him to miss me. I cant help but feel i have to end this because i am getting nothing emotional out of this and I wish he would treat me like a girlfriend but he's not. He also told me hes never had a relationship for most of his life as its a headache and its easier having relationships based on sex. Is there any advice here do you think this guy has any potential and is there anything i can do to change this 'relationship' to make him want me more or am i wasting my time? im in my mid 30's by the way. and he is 30. yes i should know better.
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female
reader, witch-fire  +, writes (16 April 2013):
 It sounds like apart from the sex you guys do nothing outside work. At the moment you only see each other in the office. Try on your days off starting to do some couple type activities like walks, meals, cinema, tennis, whatever. If you start doing things outside work that have no sexual context you might find out whether he is relationship material. Hope this helps.
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