A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:WEll,here goes.Tonight,I had date number two with this WONDERFUL guy.Im very interested in him,and have taken quite a liking to him.But he is sort of quiet and soft spoken.Im the same way myself.I dont have a problem with that but im wondering what hes thinking about me because he doesnt really say? My reasoning is that he must like me or he wouldnt have asked to go out again..and surely wouldnt have given me a kiss both times.But i just dont know,and I feel like I NEED to know.He hasnt said anything about US or what we are,or where this is going if anywhere.I dont want to waste my time,im really looking for a long term relationship myself.But i really have no idea what hes looking for.Im worried about bringing it up because I dont want to seem pushy,since it is only the second date.But id like to have some idea of what he thinks.How can i go about this,without possibly scaring him off....like i said,he is a quiet,reserved person.I dont want to push him away.Should i just be more patient? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunty_rach  +, writes (17 January 2009):
relax a little, it's only the second date. you should still be getting to know eachother and having fun. stop worrying where it is going and just enjoy the ride. it's just dating. if you both feel like you want to be official eventually then you will both get to that point where you talk about it. but for now enjoy the dates!
A
male
reader, Zim +, writes (17 January 2009):
 I can understand your need to find out where the relationship is going. You want a long term relationship that will develop as time goes on. However, bringing up such a topic, as you say, has the risk of pushing him away.
One of the most important things i've found out about relationships is that the best ones are the ones that are relaxed. To explain this further I will use your situation. Regardless of whether one person goes into dating wanting a long term relationship or not, the purpose of dating is to find out if you like each other, if you are compatible, what you both like and so on. You find out more about each other over time and this leads to feelings on both sides of wanting to spend more time together. This leads to you both seeing each other more which goes onto a point when either of you have a general idea of where the relationship is going or it is the right time to ask about it.
The point i'm making here, is enjoy the moment.:-)
In addition, I think he does like you. If he is softly spoken and quiet, to ask you out on a second date would have been extremely nervewracking, and to kiss you both times just confirms it.
What you can do, is after the third date, say "Are we going out now?" or something similar to that effect. This doesn't give him any pressure and it will let you know if he is still interested in you and wants to continue to get to know you.:-)
Wishing you the best of luck!
ZIM
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