A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing my second cousin for a little while now and we both have very stong feelings for each other but we are scard what are family and other people will think of us being together, its driving us both crazy and we dont know what to do.... Can you help?
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female
reader, Gwydion  +, writes (3 March 2013):
Legally it's not an issue at all, second cousins are permitted to marry in most western countries. It's more how the family views such a relationship, you might already have an idea how your parents and his will take the news? It's really not uncommon, and despite what some people say, it's not weird at all. It simply happens. Biologically, you're distant enough not to have any significant worry unless you family has recessive genes for certain inheritable diseases. Either way, if you both reach the stage of considering this far, do consult a doctor. As for other people, unless you're in a very conservative circle, I hardly think they will up and leave. They may be surprised as first, but as with all things, they'll get used to you being a couple.As the previous poster said, the one thing you do have to consider seriously is family dynamics, especially if you should break up. Do you feel you're both sufficiently mature to handle a break up gracefully?All the best to you! Heh and in a way I speak from experience, the guy I like is my second cousin too. We have a major age gap to boot.
A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (3 March 2013):
 There is no law in the U.K. preventing cousins from being together. If you are second cousins, that means you share a great-grandparent -- not a particularly close blood relationship.
Family dynamics may be a different matter. If the relationship goes sour, you'll still see each other at family gatherings, which could make things awkward. Have your parents ever given you a reason to think that they would have a problem with it? Do you have a close relationship with a parent, aunt or uncle who you could sound out on the issue?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2013): Personally I think that dating a cousin is a little weird. I mean, just because you can doesn't mean you should. But I am the last to really judge this because if I found out tomorrow that my lover was also my brother I would still want to marry him!
Genetically, inbreeding causes problems, period. Don't have kids if you choose to stay together.
There is no way for you to get around the family issues that this is going to bring up but love is love and no one is in this relationship except you and your cousin, and you have the right to remind everyone of that! So if there are no laws against dating your cousin, then everyone else in this world is just going to have to SHUT UP and worry about their own scandalous B.S. :)
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