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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi guy's, i'm not too sure where to start really but here goes...Ok, i've been with my partner for 10 months today. obviously at the start everything was brilliant etc etc etc.However, the past 2 months things have dramatically changed, im 21 and my partner is 23. Over the past 2 months the way things have changed is scary and i really don't no what to do.Firstly, over the past few weeks, she hardly wants to see me or talk to me on the phone or via text and when we do txt she's started putting one kiss at the end of a text and just being very blunt with me. She is a independant person anyway but i see her once a week if i'm lucky and it's driving me mad. Everytime i mention to see her her excuse is the same everytime:"I've been at work all day and i'm tired, i'd rather just go home"She's saying to me that she's going to bed at like 8pm / 8:30pm everynight?!?!?!The other big thing is that it's been 5 weeks since we last had sex, it's been about 2 weeks since i stopped trying and this part of the realtionship was brilliant about 3 months ago and look at it now!(and she wonders why people cheat)Anyway, i also have doubts now that she might have been seeing someone else or has met someone else:A) because she never wants to see me.B) she hardly speaks to me anymore UNLESS i txt / call her.C) the whole sex thing.D) i rang her the other day after work and asked her what she was up to, she said watching tv but i could tell she was abit caught for breath and i couldnt even hear the tv on.E) i randomly dropped some flowers of to her house tonight and as i was indicating into her street i saw a black honda civic pull out and if i remember correctly she no's some bloke with the same car, so i left the flowers on her car, and txt her...i got a "thanks, but you didnt have too x" back.F) I text her and said "love you...happy 10 month anaversary" the reply to that was "happy anaversary x" that's it.And just in general she seems very disinterested in the relationship, i always feel like i'm putting 98% of the effert in and getting 2% back and i can feel my body spiralling into depression slowly but surely, i can't even eat and i fight semi pro in Muay Thai kickboxing so its not helping things.Deep down i no i have to end it but if im honest i havnt got the balls to do that i dont think as i love her that much im hoping things will change!Please guy's, all the advide in the world is needed here..Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2008): sounds like the "honeymoon period" is over and when it is, thats when you can really guage whether or not a relationship is worth sticking with. if she is being distant with u chances are she maybe doesnt feel as strongly for u as she once did. ?
if ur thinking of ending it, the sooner u end it the easier it will be for both of you to, firstly get over it and secondly, it will cause less heart ache. if u end it sooner rather than later atleast u can end on a mutual agreement rather than one of u doing something to really make things turn sour and really upset the other person, e.g cheat.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): The only way you and she can get past this, if at all, is to talk.
You need to get her in person. When she gets home from work, whatever. Hell call up her work and get them to give her a day off if you have to.
But you both need to sit down and talk about what you both want from the relationship. I mean if you want something more than she's willing to give, then I'm afraid its only gonna end in tears for something.
If the seeds of doubt have been sown, they will only continue to grow until they consume everything. To avoid this communication is key.
So sit down to a nice dinner, and don't take tiredness for an answer, just whisk her away without her agreeing. Because it looks like you may have to force the issue, if she won't face it otherwise.
Suck it up, be the man, take charge and either get this relationshop back on track or let it go and do yourself a favour if its really unsalvagable.
Flynn 24
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