A
male
age
36-40,
*itthis
writes:This is my first time here and I need some real advice. My girlfriend and I have been together for over 2 years now. From the time I met her I knew I wanted to be with her but I didn't want her to know because I didn't want to be THAT guy. Long story short we "fooled around" for about six months, it all came to a head and I found out that she played me and she found out I was finishing up on a "game" when I was meeting her. We concluded that issue and decided to have a real relationship forget the past and continue as a couple. She's my best friend and I want to spend my life with her. About 4 months ago I got real depressed over my job and apparently wasn't as close to her as she wanted and she told me she felt I was pushing her away. After several screaming matches we both noticed all we do is argue over stupid crap. Now the conclusion is she thinks I'm over protective because she feels that I text her a lot (which is nothing new for us) but she thinks I expect her reply instantly. She also feels that I don't allow her enough time to hang out with her girl friends and when she does she feels she has to be glued to her phone to answer my texts. We've always burned up each other's phones with texts so I don’t see why now it's a problem. I've been feeling like "too much closeness is just as bad as not enough" for quite some time so I agree with the "need for more friend time" but I now feel that in an attempt to do this she's pushing me too far away example: she took my picture off her back ground on her phone. She changed her profile pic on facebook, she goes to her girlfriend for everything before she asks me. I called her on her lunch brake and she asked me “why are you calling? My brake is almost over now” There are cute things that she doesn't do anymore and when I bring them up to her she says that I'm dwelling on things and being a big baby. I never told her in two year that I wanted a future or promised her tomorrow because I always felt I'd hurt her if I ever made a promise I couldn't keep. Well the other day I told her I wanted a future and she said she was unsure about a future, that she still loves me but we have things to fix. I don't know what to do! I don't feel that I'm being over protective I know she's not cheating on me that's not even a suggestion. I just feel things are not right anymore, I can't joke with her or play around with out her getting annoyed. I feel like I need to give her space to grow as an individual, and I recognize that we are not joined at the hip, she has her own personality and I mine but I am scared that if I give her too much space she’ll find someone else. I want my best friend back and I don't know how to make that happen ALL suggestions are welcome
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