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anonymous
writes: I have just split up with the father of my youngest son, after a seven year relationship that has had many problems.He's very possesive and gets a little upset when i go out with friends. I don't feel the love for him, as he has changed into a man that i wouldn't normally look twice at. He has to drink at least 4 bottles of Budweiser every evening, and more at weekends, and i don't drink or smoke. He suffers from flutulance and he snores loudly. He does not turn me on anymore, and we argue when i dont feel like sleeping with him. I work part time, and look after our son...he works hard too, and he cooks most of the meals, but thats all he does, and he makes me feel like he does sooo much, but if he didn't cook...then i wouldn't be able to tell you what he does around the house to help. He can be quite mentally abusive when we have split in the past. When we are apart, he doesn't spent any quality time with his son, as he does not want me to have any freedom, by having our son at his place over night. So cuts his nose off to spite his face. He has a a habbit of taking cocaine when we are apart, and blames me for his cocaine use, as he says it helps him to get me out of his mind. We have split, (AGAIN), due to his constant complaining about not getting any affection from me, but he makes me feel crouded and stiffled, i feel like i'm prostituting myself to make him happy, while in the mean time i'm hating myself. My problem is, that i dont like to be alone...so i have ended up going back to him on many occassions, please could you tell me what i should do, as i know i dont want him back, but fear that the loneliness will get the better of me again, and it will happen all over again.I just want some positive feedback to help me move forward, being a single working mum is hard, and it's nice to have someone around, but i don't want to go round in circles anymore!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2006): I divorced in 1999 when I was 50,after a troubled relationship a lot of which was to do with his alcohol consumption, and I bought my own house. My ex husband squandered his share of he house. Like you I do not like being alone. During the last7 years I have got back with him three times, each time costing me money. I have now split again and this time I am going to be strong and manage alone.I have started going line dancing as you can go on your own and I am going to take a short course in college to give myself plent to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2005): I have been in the exact position and can sympathise, but you must be strong. You know that if you go back to this man you will not be happy. Try making friends, perhaps join a club where you can meet people in the same position as you. Don't allow yourself to be used as a doormat any longer. Be strong. It will get better and you will begin to wonder why you never did it sooner.
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