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male
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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend has "come back" from his time of space, he has sent me a message asking to call him, as we have a lot of things to talk about. I have feeling THAT THIS IS IT. He is breaking up with me, he always signed of his messages reading i love you my angel, but this message didn't say anything like that. I'm so terrified of calling, in fact i do not want to. I havent spoken to him for two weeks and I've been hurting, and he wasn't there for me, needed his space, and finally on the day that i think i'll be ok, and i'm going out with some friends to lift my spirits thinking that i'll be able to move on he sends me this message. I'm terrified, I dont want to hear what the verdict is. I'm hurting all over again. I wish he could see my pain, but at the same time i want him to see that i'm not worried or scared and that im fine, better than ever, the only catch is that everyday that i didn't hear from him it tore my heart piece by piece. What should i do?
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (29 November 2005):
 Sounds like you've handed all the power and control in this relationship to him. Why? Why is what he wants the only consideration? What do *you* want?
This man has put you through hell already and now he feels that he can summon you to hear his verdict on your relationship? Gees, he must feel like a king to have so much power over you.
The other response was right. When he told you he "needed space" what he was really saying was "I don't care that much about our relationship, and I want an easy way out, without the trouble of breaking up with you. Now I'm going to go away and do whatever I want to, and if you're still around when I get desperate, I might have you back."
Now you need to ask yourself why your sense of self-esteem is so low that you'd even CONSIDER getting back with a guy who thinks so little of you. I mean, really woman, he didn't even have the courage to break up with you before he left. Now he thinks he's doing you a favour to tell you whether you're good enough to date him again? Spare me!
Dump him and walk away. No matter what his "verdict" on your relationship, believe me, you can do better!
If it was me, I'd laugh in his face.
A
female
reader, Bestfrend +, writes (28 November 2005):
Stop suffering and agonizing put yourself out of misery and out of his sight-if ever any man says he "needs space" give to him by never sharing "his space" again!Bestfrends..
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A
female
reader, sexseahot  +, writes (28 November 2005):
 There no reason for you to just drop what you want to do just because HE wants to talk now. He wanted his space, that doesn't mean that he can get the time to talk about this whenever he wants. If you want to wait to talk to him, just let him know that when you have time, then you guys can sit down and talk. Let him know that you are busy and have plans with friends and you'll give him a call when you're open and not doing anything.I understand that it hurts when you don't get to talk to him, but don't look too desperate yourself. Make sure to let him know that you are not dependent on him and you can go on with your life. If he is ready to break up, then don't let him know that it hurts you that bad. Just try and be strong. Life goes on and you can always find someone better out there for you.Good Luck!
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