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female
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*ulu-love
writes: hello, I am 17 and i have been with my partner of 22 for two years in december. I keep hearing of proposing at christmas and engagement. But i feel i'm too young for this and i have a cousin that is my age and she knew her boyfriend for six months and they got engaged and had an engagement party... which i thought was really stupid and sad.(adding to the fact that i dont like her at all) And i think i'm too young and we're too early on in our relationship to be getting engaged. But i just want things to feel more serious, my boyfriend said he wont buy me a ring until he is buying me one for one reason only (engagement). I just can't help feeling that i want to take it to the next level, but i dont know if there is a level before engagement. We don't live together and as im still studying we can't afford too. Please help! Lulu
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2007): if u have been together that long than why not but if u want to wait then thats your call
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2005): Getting Married in January? Are you both 18 - 22?A New MTV Documentary Wants to Feature You!MTV New York is casting a new documentary series that features a young couple (between the ages of 18 - 22) in the process of getting married. Each individual couple chosen will be the center of a half-hour show that takes us through their planning, their actual wedding and beyond. In addition to sharing how you met, how he proposed and what your dress will look like, we also want to explore the issue of age and marriage...does it matter or not? What do your family and friends think? What does your future hold? How will your life change once you are married? What do you look forward to with your future spouse? This is a documentary, so we assure you that no "reality spin" will be involved during the taping. However, you must be willing to let cameras into your life in order for us to capture your entire wedding experience! Just think, all of the once in a lifetime moments you'll share will be captured on tape for you to view over and over!If you are interested in being a part of this project, please send us your story. We'd love to know how you met, your proposal story, when you plan on getting married and any other interesting information about you and/or your wedding. Also be sure to include your name, age, address, your phone number, email address and a digital photo of you and your fiance if possible. Please send all this in an email to: Stephanie Gholam, Casting Director - [email address blocked].
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (28 November 2005):
 Now is the time when you need to air your concerns to your boyfriend, don't you think? If you and he have been going out together since you were 15, you should know him well enough by now to talk to him about matters this serious.
Put a positive spin on what you say when you talk about it. Tell him how much the relationship makes you happy "just the way it is" (assuming that's true). Let him know that you love him and you don't want to change a thing right now, and that you feel that being boyfriend and girlfriend suits where you're both at in your lives at this time. Mention about your cousin getting engaged at too young an age, too.
The point is that you don't want him to think that getting engaged is something he *has to* do, just to keep things active between you two.
Finally, if your bf misunderstands all you say about not wanting to change your current relationship and still presents you with a ring at Christmas, it's also OK to tell him, "I love you, but I'm not ready to get married at this time in my life".
You sound like a smart young woman who knows what she wants from life - and frankly, I wish that I'd been as wise as you when I was 17! My then-boyfriend asked me to marry him when I was your age (because it seemed like "the next logical step") and accepting led me to an unhappy and violent relationship for the next seven years, ending in divorce. Don't make my mistake, just for lack of confidence.
Cheers!
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