A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Is this a blessing in disguise?I get dumped by a girl who I feel cannot be replaced, at all. During the conversation, she said she was going to miss me.The next day, she removes me from her contact list on our Instant Messaging program, and unsubscribes from me on my favorite video sharing site.Now, today, she's blocked me on the same Instant Messaging program. However, I haven't said anything to her since the breakup. Again, is this a blessing in disguise? Or, does she want me to abandon all hope? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (18 December 2015):
 Well, it happened.
Good luck with the next relationship!
And based on the very limited information you provided here, all I really have to offer in closing is that you might want to examine your own beliefs and criteria, as you apply those to others.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's just... sad, though. I never thought it would go this far. And, to think, if she wouldn't let a certain hobby become a priority over me, this probably wouldn't have happened.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 December 2015):
If you can't figure out how to communicate with her, she blocked you and you are afraid of her emotions then you really do need to let this one go.
You asked a rather odd question in one followup: "what should I be doing to prepare myself emotionally for what might be coming at me?"
I'd just block her, write off the money you spent as a life lesson and try to live in the real world for a while.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe didn't specify, as I didn't ask for anything deeper. I didn't take it a step further, as I didn't want to risk getting her emotional.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 December 2015):
When you say she didn't specify, does that mean she refused to answer the question? How did you ask it?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe didn't specify any reason. Honest.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 December 2015):
What does she say when you ask her these questions directly?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNow, I hear she wants to "start over". I'm not certain about what she means, exactly.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHow come it would be nothing that affected me? And, now, I'm being asked to take back these presents in the form of virtual currency that I gave to her. If she really wants me to "take it all back", the only way I can do that is if she donates it back to me. What is going on? Why is she making this sort of demands?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 December 2015):
 Unless you found out from HER DIRECTLY it is an indicator of NOTHING that affects you.
and if you did find out via "word of mouth" or "asking around" are you getting stalker like? In which case prepare for lawsuits to cease and desist.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've found out recently that she's struggling. What is this an indicator of? Do I need to emotionally prepare for something that may be coming my way?
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 December 2015):
Well, I guess you've made your decision and don't really want or require any of our suggestions! Best wishes to you!
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, I don't find the "local cuisine" (Big Bang Theory reference) truly appreciates me. Aside from the reason I already listed, they only see me as a friend, and take forever to attract. That is the basis behind my decision.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 December 2015):
Your decision to quit dating? Why would you do that?
Just try to find someone local with whom you can connect. This girl isn't going to be your online girlfriend any more, and while that may smart for a while, you will now be available to meet someone who actually is available!
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhat's everybody's take on my decision?
Also, isn't regret a powerful thing? If so, it sounds like it can turn the tables around, over time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI feel like quitting dating. It only brings pain. I never succeed in maintaining a real relationship without getting eventually hurt.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 December 2015):
It's a wise move because she is moving on and you will need to learn that sooner rather than later. Keeping contact with you will keep you hoping that things will change.
But based on these posts, she's done and not going to change her mind.
Your family and friends agree, I'm sure?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHow come it's a wise move for both of us?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 December 2015):
Just because I cried when I broke up with my first boyfriend did not mean I didn't need to or want to break up
her going NC is a wise move for both of you.
it does NOT mean she won't or isn't missing you... it means she was serious about it and is trying to heal.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (7 December 2015):
The good news as that it was all online, you aren't likely to run into her at the local coffee shop or grocery store.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's been entirely online. That's why she's kind of an "exception" to my "criteria".
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (7 December 2015):
Do you see each other in real life or is this a relationship that has been online only, from the beginning to the end?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTisha-1, it's due to me and her being long distance. Also, how do you mean, by me and her are relating to each other, online?
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (7 December 2015):
OP, having read your other post now, about her blocking you on IM and the video sharing site? You are both relating to each other online.
So being turned off by women who are interacting on IM and video sharing on their phones ("many girls in this country are distracted by their cellphones, which is a huge turnoff for me." ) is hypocritical of you.
How are you interacting online? Via a smart phone? A laptop? A tablet?
My point is that you have dismissed finding a local love interest based on a sweeping generalization, which, if you were included in the criteria, would eliminate you as a potential dating candidate.
Hanging on to hope for reconciliation, I see now, is unrealistic.
Time to accept that this relationship is over.
Also perhaps time to unplug for a while and spend time in fresh air and with live people face to face, sharing conversation and buying someone coffee just to catch up on what you've missed in their lives.
In other words, you do need time away from this virtual world that you've wound up so deeply embedded in that you take visits to your blog as a sign of something more than just a visit to your blog.
What does your best friend say about this all? Your family? Do they know what's happened?
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... i reposted my answer from your other question...
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (7 December 2015):
OP, I have to point something out to you.
You complain "The local girls over here, they're all distracted by social media and text messaging" yet your contact with this LDR is via instant messaging and a video sharing site.
So to a guy who is local to HER, she's distracted by IMs and video sharing with you. Which, if you were the local guy, would make her undateable.
In other words, your bias against the local girls is um, well, hypocritical. You are messaging and (apparently from this post and the other one to which I responded) also relying on social media and messaging sites to carry on a relationship.
Sorry she blocked you and moved on. Now it's time you do the same. She may have visited your blog but as I read this post, it's obvious that SVC was absolutely spot on, that your ex online gf was just processing the breakup.
My final suggestion to you is to examine your criteria for acceptable candidates and to point out that if you want women who are not on social media or IMing then you need to stay off social media and avoid IMing yourself. Perhaps it's time to live in the real world and not the virtual one? Just a thought.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo the anonymous answerer, my ex still hasn't removed me from her subscription list on the site we met, nor has she taken down the romantic presents she uploaded for me.
CindyCares, is there potential for her to come back, someday? No other girl can romance me the way this one did. The local girls over here, they're all distracted by social media and text messaging. The girl that left me sure had it in her to make me feel golden.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 December 2015):
 I think she is simply moving on with her life and she knows that the best- the only, perhaps, - way to do it is to go NC . Maybe she is moving on with regret ,yet she is moving on.
I don't find it that strange, it happens often in fact : you know you will miss the person you are leaving, maybe you will miss him / her sorely- but you also know that in the greater scheme of things, it ìs for the best and there's no point in dragging things on and cling to them or let them cling to you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2015): It's the same story: the girl spends the first few days crying, then embraces freedom and totally forgets about him. The guy embraces the freedom, then collapses into a total breakdown after the first few days.
I don't know how to help you. I'd say leave the girl and move on, but that would make me a total hypocrit, seeing as I can't forget about the guy I like, no matter how much time moves on.
One thing is for sure: she is being a drama queen to get attention during these first few hurtful weeks, telling different stories to different people, not really meaning anything she says or does. Let her let out steam for a while and talk to her again when she's come back to her senses. Maybe she would get reason back.
Best of hopes for you.
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