A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hypothetically speaking what would your rules of engagement for a MMF threesome be? I know the risks as we have discussed them. We have a strong line of communication and respect for each other and know that this is strictly for fun.With that being said here are some of my rules:(In no particular order)- Either of us can end the experience at any time if we feel uncomfortable, our committment to each other is stronger than to the involvement of a stranger- No post-curricular contact. No exchanging of phone numbers, contact info, etc. We are not looking to establish a relationship, just a one time affair.- Only go as far as we both are comfortable with, meaning is it oral, vaginal or anal sex involved, only what is accepted by both myself and my partner, not the stranger. He must accept this BEFOREHAND if he wants to join us.I think those are the base rules, but there are others. Like the following (please give your input on any):- Do you pick a stranger or a friend? A stranger you don't know their sexual/drug history which is a risk but there is less chance of continued interaction. A friend you run the risk of future interaction and potentially them blackmailing you for more by threatening telling your little secret.- If a woman participates in a MMF is it assumed that she enjoys anal sex since this is a common method of double penetration? Also considering that if a woman is considering something as exotic and open-minded as a MMF, that natural progression is trying anal sex first?I know a lot will say don't do it. Not saying we are/aren't just the purpose of this post is IF we were to do it, what rules would your incorporate?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2010): First, never assume a woman is up for anal... talk to her first on this one... Her giving a guy oral, while you're in her pussy is technically double penetration (2 holes of 3 are filled)- but it's not the most common def of the term.
I agree about the recommendation to start slow... we went to an all inclusive clothing optional resort. Late night hot tub fun, fingers below the water, oral on the side of the tub, then everyone to their own rooms. The next night we invited him to ours and had a great time. It worked out well and gave us plenty of time to talk about it before it happened. Never saw the guy again.
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (15 March 2010):
 1-Go to a swinger club and get to know people there that have experienced it, and see if you can get referrals. Do not have sex there the first few times you visit. That is the best place to meet people for this sort of thing.
2-If you have never experienced something like this, best not to let the other guy penetrate her the first time trying. Go slow...see how you feel with touching her body while she kisses and touches the other guy. If you can not handle that, you would not be able to handle a MMF. You can do this at some swingers clubs. Some guys have a problem with wanting to kiss their woman after he has seen her do oral on another man, some guys do not mind. Go slow to know your boundaries.
3-You are so worried about the negative potentials...you have not considered the potential positives ones that would hurt you. For example what if she orgasms while he is inside her, or he really knows how to use his body to make her feel pleasure and she says or does something she never did with you...how are you going to feel then? Many a man has been brought to tears for this reason
4-there is no perquisite for anal or any other sex act. The only rule is that you decide a head of time what is and is not OK. And when in the moment it is easy to ignore those rules and go with the flow, but in my experience that always ends in disaster. Even if the experience is positive it is still an attack on the trust between the couple.
-Frank
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2010): I know that you are probably bored with your own sex life or you would not be headed in this direction. It is an enticing path but has many hidden dangers. Sex when it is just friction and genital contact does get boring in a short period of time. If extraordinary sex is what you are looking for you will need to expand your vision of what a relationship and connection should be. It is more about giving than receiving. It is fusing your love making with love and your life force energy and sharing it with each other. For the woman it is about surrendering to love, to her self, to infinite pleasure and allowing it to open her heart completely. For the man it is about controlling his ejaculation and passion long enough for her to be completely satisfied on every level by him.
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A
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reader, anysecondnow  +, writes (15 March 2010):
I have definite bisexual tendencies and an MMF threesome is pretty near the top of my fantasy list. That being said, the one experience I had was strictly non-bisexual (at least for the other guy ;-)). I guess some mention of that aspect of the arrangement should be in your list. (Will there be MM contact?)I think the assumption about anal is not true. I mean most guys want it, but I don't think it is a fair assumption. It's totally up to you two.You need to be as sure as possible that both you and she can handle the aftereffects. Can your ego handle seeing your girlfriend being sexually aroused by another man? Will you still respect her after? Will she respect you? I personally would love to have the kind of relationship where that kind of stuff would fly, and I think my ego could handle it... but you definitely run the risk of fucking up a good thing.I wouldn't involve a friend. Not because I would worry about blackmail, just because of discretion and the fact that you have to see the person afterwards or end the friendship.So, I would definitely hook up with a stranger. You can't totally protect yourself from creepy people or STDs. I think it would be a good idea to meet the person first in a safe location to get a feeling whether you want to go through with it or not, if the attraction is there, etc. Of course, you should insist on condoms. As far as the post-curricular contact goes, I would think that if you liked it and found someone safe, discreet and good, you would want additional contact. But not one-on-one contact obviously.Honestly I would probably be too chicken to go through with it. I would be too afraid of jeopardizing the relationship. But if it is something you both want to do, go for it. A lot of us out here are freaks, and being able to be ourselves with the person we love might add to our quality of life.
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