A
male
age
41-50,
*oddybad
writes:HI, I've kinds asked this before but only got one response and things have changed:I was seeing a woman 8 years my senior (I'm 28 she's 36) for 7 months earlier this year. I was in an abusive relationship at the time which I left in August. We got on incredibly well, were sexually extremely compatible, had fancied each other for years and have the same hopes for our futures. Both of us talked of becoming a couple and I know that her mum expected her to be going out with me (she didnt know we were having'fun' because of her religious beliefs) and her best friend thought she should give it a go with me from what he'd heard. The trouble is she's previousy been out with somebody at work and was convinced shed be hated if it went wrong (presumably largely because after the relationship id been in and the fact id left my family she would be seen as the bad guy). she ended things because of this and ended up going out with and getting engaged to another guy shortly after. They have now split as he's a liar but we continue to be friends. the thing is, i can see so much good between us and whats happeneed to her has to my mind completely changed circumstances at work as now id be the one taking risks with peoples view of me. doesnt bother me though and i hate being friends. i can feel my heart ripping apart every second i spend as friends.I've come to the conclusion over chrsitmas i have to do something,. the wuestion is do i go all out and tell her everything which she knew before but couldnt get her head round or do i leave it when im sure she wont slowly fall back in but is of the mindset to look elsewhere.I'm convinced she knows im the only guy shes been with that wont lie to her, put her down or try and control her like her previous relationships. stil lthough i know im risking our friendship doing anything about it but cant see how i cannot. what to do?help!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (12 December 2008):
 Just tell her how you feel and see what happens. At best she will be flattered. Every woman likes it when a man confesses his feelings for her. She will hopefully be mature enough to give you an answer as to what she will do about it. At the end of the day, i can't see her not being your friend, but if you can accept what ever she says then you will still be a good friend no matter what. It's the way you will approach it that will be the key, try to be as tactful as you can and you will soon find out if there is a future for you. You sound as if y ou have extremely strong feelings for her and you will not be able to keep these underwraps so don't torment yourself any longer and go and see her. good luck. hope this helps.
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