A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:When divorced, should one get rid of souvenirs from the honeymoon, and the rings?I'm in a serious relationship with a divorced man. He still has the wedding rings (says he will sell them, but nothing has been done still), and he often wears t-shirts bought on his honeymoon, like typical souvenirs with the location name in big letters on them. I get that a shirt is a shirt and doesn't necessarily mean anything, and I still have old t-shirts from vacations with ex boyfriends myself. But this is from the honeymoon. Should they kick the bucket, or be worn and torn?He wore that t-hirt again last night, and Im noticing that Im starting to get bothered by it. A few months back I also found a coffee mug from the honeymoon. And I discovered that one of my favourite pictures of him, that I keep on my phone (Im romantic like that, I like to have a picture of him for when we're apart), I discovered that this picture was taken by his ex' on their honeymoon also. I'm not upset that he had a life before me, but I don't think I need to have it in my face like this. What do you guys think?It's been about three years since the divorce. At least the rings are in a box hidden away and never come up as conversation topic. But his honeymoon seems to pop up everywhere, both in conversation and on pictures, clothes and mugs.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2017): Hi, I wrote this question. My code didn't work. Thank you Andies Thoughts for putting it like that. I just needed to hear it. I've never been jealous in the past of an ex of a boyfriend. I guess maybe there is something to it, that with my past boyfriend they were all just past girlfriends, nothing more special than that. Maybe I do worry that she will always be in his heart as someone special to him, more special than I will ever be. Which of course is a sad thought, but it isn't necessarily true. I'm going to try and think of it as just another vacation. And to try and think of her as just another ex. He divorced her for a reason, and he's with me now. I talked to him about this, and he said he doesn't think of her when he mentions his "vacation", and only brings it up because he always had a fascination for that place and always wanted to go. It just happened that they went on the honeymoon, but he would have gone there anyways on a vacation. So the souvenirs are from the holiday as such, and not souvenirs to remind him of his honeymoon. As for the rings, he told me he did sell them, so they're gone. He just didn't think to tell me because he didn't realize I wanted to know. As for how it ended, it didn't end well. But he's a gentleman and doesn't hold a grudge and is still "friends" with her, but they rarely if ever speak. I'll try to think about why I start to feel bothered by this. It didn't bother me to begin with, really. It's just something that has started bothering me as time went by and we begun to get more serious. Maybe it's a fear of not being the only person he could imagine a future with, and that Im subconsciously worried she was number one and I'll always be number two. Stupid thought, I know. I'll work on that.
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (12 July 2017):
 How did it end?I'm sentimental, so unless a relationship was abusive or ended really badly, I would probably keep a few things that were important to me or had good memories attached. Rings, postcards, t-shirts, a few photos (if they had an important memory attached).If you have t-shirts from holidays with your exes, he should be allowed to as well. It may have been his honeymoon, but it's not special because of that any more; it's just a former holiday now.Choose another picture or get over the fact that it was taken by his ex. It was obviously a good picture, regardless of who took it, or you wouldn't like it so much.I think you're hung up on the fact he loved someone enough to marry them and you're not the first he's loved enough to see a future with. You're either going to have to learn to live with it or let go of him.How is it in your face? Is it just the location on t-shirts, mugs, etc.? Or is she in them? If she's in them, I get it, but if he's just telling stories about the location and keeping pictures of him on the holiday, then it's not about the ex or the "honeymoon"; it's about the holiday and location.
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A
female
reader, Miss.Cupid  +, writes (12 July 2017):
 My question is who ended the marriage? did the ex spouse end it or him?
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