A
male
age
36-40,
*ernando
writes:Hi, I´m 29y old, and last semester in 2014 I ended up having 3 sexual relations with pre op transsexuals.Basically I was a guy who always relate with women since 17y, I had 6 gf, always like women, when i was alone (off relationsships)between the relations I ended up having sex with prostitutes (they ended up to be a lot :/ ) ...so for abou 4y I was in a relation with a girl, was trying to get a good job, was study and working as hell, also reserving sometime for her...in the end we broke up in february (2014). I tought it was for good, in june (2014) I got called for a dreamjob, actually a process to get the job, was called, but until now march 2015 they still didnt truly contract me.The thing is in August 2014 I was pissed with all that work, was angry, was trying to stop with prostitutes and on my way from home to work I saw a beautifull women on the street , but she was on the "transsexual side" of the street, I always saw her from monday to friday and was wondering if was a "real girl" or a transsexual. After 3 weeks without any sex I told myself "You know what fuck all, she is hot, I need sex" so i went there and contract her , in the end seh was a tranny, i just hold her penis for a while but after that it was a "common" man to woman (without a vagina) relation (as active) . 2 months later I ended up left from my job in a hospital, things were hard there for sometime, I was alone not believing in relationships and when I left I stop on the same street and "bought" an oral sex, but this time knowing the person was transsexual. October I start to go to a psychologist, was away from prostitutes and from transsexuals for 2 months in New Years morning was pissed abou some family issues look for a prostitute, found a street with one...she was a transsexual again, I had sex, but she took more money from me, to avoid problems I just paid. In january I went to a party saw a loot of couples, got bad, left to a whore house, passa by my house, drink some beers with the prostitutes and..left to the transsexual street, wasnt with any money to buy sex but went there to see if there was any who looks like a woman, give pass my house again and near the place I gave up , returning home I sleept and hit my car over a tree (thank God no one was hurt).I wonder wtf Im doing with my life , I mean, I always wanna have a family, without cheating my wife or doing anything low to her, I was ready to get married, construct a family with my last GF but things didn´t work out well, Im still waiting for that job (after 3 selective tests in 2014 to get I want that job and my money now). Im still not into men, was wondering for quite sometime If i turn into gay or bissexual, but men, in their true ain´t my stuff, I´m not into shemale porn, I like the regular kind, don´t "like" transsexual more than woman, actually I guees Transsexual aint my stuff but I did it....3 times. Rly don´t know whats wrong with me, I tought about suicide, im unhappy, tried some relations with womans but they didnt went too far, now I´m afraid to fall in love and tell the girl and she ended up hating me or felling disgust about me. Helps ? Im not the kind of guy who like to hide things from people :/ especially from someone close as a GF.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Fernando +, writes (9 March 2015):
Fernando is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThx Euphoric29, I´m going to a psychologist but she tought I may not be addicted to sex, but I agree with you, Maybe I´m not addicted but I use it to relax or try to fell "complete" (in a sick way) and I dont wanna. I´m thinking about join a group of "sex addiction" that follows the steps from AA, maybe this can help me out too.All this is definetely taking my pride as man, I must be strong and leave this life, prostitutes are "bad" but "transsexual prostitutes" :) it´s even more complicated to me. I don´t care about others having that kind of relation but in my mind it´s unnaceptable for me to have.Thx again. and thx for your second comment Jannie
A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (9 March 2015):
Dear Fernando,
The problem is that whenever you're frustrated, feeling low, sad, lonely, depressed.. you go to a prostitute. This is an unhealthy pattern that's taking away your pride as a man, maybe can even affect your health, finances or future relationships.
This is like an addiction, and your drug is sex. There's no need to analyse your sexual orientation, really, because for you, it's mostly about a quick fix of your emotional problems than a true attraction to transsexuals.
I think it's a good thing you're honest with your partners and to me, it wouldn't be more shocking if you said you've been with a prostitute or a transsexual prostitute. I think some women might care about this difference, but right now, this is not the biggest worry. Your biggest worry should be to get in a more happy and confident place in life, where you can have a girlfriend again. It's not too late to get the family you want or a job you enjoy, unless you give yourself up with drinking, prostitutes and self-pity.
Focus on how you can make your life better. Make a plan A (if you get the job of your dreams) but also a plan B (what you will do if it doesn't work out).
Get back on your feet! Life can be very tough and it will hit you sometimes, but make the best of it.
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A
male
reader, Fernando +, writes (9 March 2015):
Fernando is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah I´m taking care of a cat now, actually I´m a vet.
One thing that was very bizarre : my dog died like 1 week after the broke up (I was treating him but he has some kidney disease, actually a tumor) so I felt like I lost 2 important people in my life, it is crazy how things are today for me. It´s simpy the worst time in my life until now.
And I didn´t fell more manly with the transsexuals I just felt like giving up from everything, tired and in rage about everything, that also don´t boost my ego, It´s just a fake way to fell with someone, in a "close way" but I now thats not healty and brought more damages than resolutions.
I´m trying to stop but it´s hard and everytime I failed all came back together.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (9 March 2015):
 It's very clear that you are heterosexual. If going to transsexual feels like emasculating you and creating doubts about yourself, then it is not worth it. The key is to find something that eases your loneliness. Get a dog or cat. Animals love unconditionally because they have no concept of money or class. They understand better even without language.
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A
male
reader, Fernando +, writes (9 March 2015):
Fernando is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThx for the answer Jannie.
Yeah I know they are people and they dont want to be seen as freaks, actually I don´t have any problem with them or homossexuals (males or females) actually I do have some friends that are gays, lesbians and one that is exploring his bissexuality.
The thing that worries me the most is that I turn on to this.
I date someone for 4y and told myself that I would never go to prostitutes again (until that point just "natural females" ). Was happy with myself and proud. When the relationship ends I was busy with the work and study and tought I would find someone nice, but I didn´t, my dreamy work kind of fades away after a long time working for it and I turn back to prostitutes again, was trying to stop, never pick any girl from the streets but then I started after sometime trying to control my impulse I have my first time with a transsexual and I was scary because I never find men attractive or even think about sex with transsexuals. I mean I´m 29y old now, that is a little late to have some doubts about sex.
Anyway, is like you said and I know, people don´t understand that very well but my "problem" is that Im very open in a relation I even told my ex about my past with prostitutes, I didnt tell her the stories but I told her that in the past I have some relations with prostitutes cause I felt lonely. So I´m afraid to let that story goes in a new relation. I was ready to start a new one but after all those experiences with transsexuals I guess Im not anymore :(
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (9 March 2015):
I believe you are hooked on transsexuals because they make an effort to be feminine. They succeed in making you feel like a man more than any normal woman could. Of course the price to pay is your wallet and also internal disgust. You are at a bad point in your life and you temporarily found your escape in your new interest with the third sex. After the deed is done you are back to your emptiness. Some women may be turned off by the fact that you had been with transsexuals. If I were you I would not tell because most people don't understand that even straight people use their services. You can only hope that your marriage will make you happy most of the time. When there are down times you might be tempted to go back to transsexuals again. You have to learn to develop your confidence so that when life fails you, you know where to tap into that source. When you find you hate that part of you, you are not ready to date. You would just bring confusion to the next relationship. Transsexuals are people too. They have feelings and do not wish to be seen as freaks. It's not the fact that you had sex with them that's disgusting. It's the fact that you are so desperate that you have to pay someone to supply your own ego boost. So learn how to pat yourself at the back. Talk nicely to yourself. Hopefully you would look back at this as a lesson, come to full terms with it instead of some deep, dark past that you have to hide forever.
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