A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing this guy for several several months now and it's going nowhere. Normally I would have left by now, but i have nothing else going on so i'm trying to see where this can go...if anywhere. The problem is that he doesn't open up to me. He doesn't talk to me, or call me, or even text me. He emails me, 2 or 3 times a day, quick one sentence messages and we see each other once a week for 3 or 4 hours and that's it. I've said to him before that he needs to talk to me more, share more about him, that we need to hang out more and he's closed off to this. He says he agrees, but never follows through. When I said I didn't know him, he told me he felt the same and that we should hang out more often. But his idea of often is road trips. Ok that's great, but road trips are occasional things. I want to see him more often, more than once a week. We live about 40 minutes from each other and i'm the one who has to drive to his place or pick him up and drive on our road trips, I'm also the one that's sharing my life and i just feel like i'm doing all the work and he's doing nothing. I tried setting up lunch dates and coffee dates, movies, dinner, anything really more often during the week but he either refuses or gets back to me too late, so we're back at the once a week rule. This is extremely extremely frustrating to me. Should I leave now and try harder to get him to open up?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2011): If he hasn't opened up to you and want to talk to you after several months, then you're wasting valuable time when you can be with someone you are more compatible with and having fun. He obviously is not into you because guys who are can't wait to talk to their girl! He needs a quiet girl who doesn't talk either and then they can be silent together. Look for someone else to spend this valuable time with because once it's gone you can't get it back.
A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (24 August 2011):
 have you told him that his behaviour is bothering you so much that you are considering leaving? you should discuss it and THEN decide whether to stay or go. you say though that you are staying coz you have nothing else to do at the moment, seems to me like you are maybe just using each other for the same reason. talk to him
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (24 August 2011):
 Stop making him a priority in your life when you're just an option in his.
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