A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am hoping that there are people out there that can help me, I am really confused over this situation.I recently broke up with my ex nearly two months ago whilst we have remained good friends, I have still got feeling for him, and I was convinced that he felt the same.Several days ago, we caught up and we had a few wines and while he was holding me I heard him say to me that there were still feelings there on his part, as we got to bed after the intimacy he told me that he loved me.I stayed there that night and also returned the next day and stayed again the next night.We held each other tight, and the next night I was there he asked me about the night before, and said he didn't want there to be any confusion.I am really confused and I am afraid to ask him about it, I know he loves me and I know that he has feeling for me but he has said he is not ready for a relationship, could that be the case here ??or could it be that he does not know what he wants ??he really wanted me to say the first night and which as I am still in love with him that was all I wanted as well.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2009): Dear Confused,
Well you have done all the right things talk to him (ok after the event), I would suggest that you are right he doesn't know what he wants or as he is not ready for a relationship(you knew this already)
So what does he want - well sex obviously is one thing. Another is to have the sex without committing himself to something else. My view is get over him yourself. give him space and time - leave him alone and see.
I would leave him alone for a while and see what happens. In the meantime - go and find someone for you. There are more and better people for you, people who will want and give more to you.
hugs Star.x.
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