A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend for the past three years doesn't trust me because of a situation I was in pervously during our relationship. The situation is a minor one I think she's just insecure but she can't trust me now, in addition she can't seem to come to terms with us being together. We are still together but hanging by a string. She's not calling and when I call she forwards the calls, she doesn't seem to want to have anything to do with me. But i still love her and I know she is hurt but she loves me. what should I do give her some space and prays she comes back, it's so difficult to do. Someone help me!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell the horrible mistake I made was about two years ago. I had cousins who I would stay by when I went away Canada and we all would get along well but this time(2years ago it was different she kissed me for a split second. I didn'd want to lie to my love so I told her and she hasn't trust me since.I addition to this after a while telling my love this I told her that I think I liked the kiss (I just wanted to truthful).
It doesn't mean I liked my cousin cause I know I don't but I was away from home & my love so long that I was weak. She believes that I've done other things with women, but I haven't. No amount of gifts will work with her she isn't materialistic. I wish it did.
And now everytime she wants me to recall the incident I try but I can't remember exactly, word for word, so with each variation she believes more and more that I lie to her. We're in a cycle that I can't seem to break out of and she still doesn't want to talk to me or even say I LOVE YOU TOO.
I'm trying to make ends meet but it's draining me psychologically and emotionally. It very hard for me especially since I've started a bachelor's degree( I deserve it though, I was so stupid)I'm just looking for answers and I need some support.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2009): Na dont tell us it doesnt even matter. you should send her some flowers i promise you its the best thing you could do at this point. i swear it will get her talkin to you again. leave them on her door step with a note. i am tellin you she will call. when she does, tell her you love her and you are sorry for everythin and you only want to be with her and you wanna marry her and make babies with her :) i assume you do since you love her. anyways like it says in the bible "this too shall pass." send her flowers, trust me im a girl who knows bout relationships every girl loves them you just cant go wrong. get a big bouquet not like a 5 dollar flower. put some thought into it :)what flowers did you get her on a first date? whats her favorite color. that kinda thing.
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A
female
reader, Anastasia +, writes (4 June 2009):
 Hi Trini, You have been with your girlfriend for 3 years....and she only now realises that she can't deal with something that happened before her relationship with you?? Trust is an important thing in a relationship and if that is shaking, then things can fall down. I would suggest that you go to her house, sit her down and have a little chat about how things are and where things stand. Discuss her issues with whatever it is that is the problem and see where it goes. You will know after if you can tolerate some of her reservations in the relationship or not.If she chooses that you guys should part ways, you need to respect that and move on ....if you decide to make things work, then I suggest you lay some ground rules of what was in the past is in the past and left there. She can't keep bringing stuff up. You can't move forward fully if you have baggage that is hanging on to you.Try that and see where it goes.Ana
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2009): Well, for starters, you can tell us about this minor situation that has caused her act this way.
You will get better, and more accurate help if you disclose what you did.
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