A
male
age
30-35,
*olken
writes:Ok this is my first post on this website but as i can tell from the posts ive looked on your all incredibly helpful and filled with rich information from life experiences so ill start at the beginning and hope someone can help me with some advice or opinions Well me and my girlfriend will have been going out for a year as of the 19th of march this year, in this space of time we havnt got sexually active, we are both 16 and i want to but she never comes around when i want us to be alone, its not like shes a virgin she has had a lot of sex before she was with me as she used to be a bit of a party go'er, i just dont understand why when she says she loves me, its been her longest relationship and that shes happy, that she doesnt want to have sex with me and im talking about general sex acts as well such as a handjob or blowjobshe does say to me though that she worries that the amazing relationship we have out of sex will be ruined when we do have it what are youre opinions on this and any possible solutions ?Much appreciated :)
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male
reader, Replacement  +, writes (16 February 2009):
 Maybe she's taking it slow so that the relationship has time to develop. Perhaps in the past boys she has slept with have scampered, and maybe she's afraid of this happening between you two. Don't pressure her, just trust that she'll come around in time.
A
female
reader, nathanshott132  +, writes (15 February 2009):
well maybe shes scared to have sex, because it does ruin the emotionlly connection some what between you guys.
But i mean you just have to wait for the right time, and it'll happened.
Trust me, girls dont like to rush into things like that
i understand it has been almost a year, but sometimes thats not long enough for some girls
that true emotions, and doesnt want to give herself again, unil she knows that thats the one.
Maybe you should show some confort and do stuff to her first,
just to make her comfortable.
Any other questions just ask me!
i've been through this situation before.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2009): If she is experienced sexually, and you say she used to be a a bit of a party goer, maybe she relates sex with her old behavior, and has had bad experiences. So, her fear of ruining the relationship by having sex is real to her.
You need to reassure her that you are not lusting after her, that you love her and there is a difference! Take it slow...I guess you definitely are doing that. But, be patient and communicate your needs also!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2009): Me and my boyfriend took it slow to start with, hes uncle the one that got us together told me id have to kiss jrrd first if i wanted any action because he was the shy type now 5 years of being together we live with each other and hes not shy to flop it out any more. Maybe shes just shy. When i first kissed jrrd he went home to his uncle dancing around the loungeroom saying she kissed me she kissed me over and over lol
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