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Recently I have gained some weight. How can gain some self confidence back and stop feeling negative about myself?

Tagged as: Dating, Health, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 October 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 5 October 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I have always been a quiet girl who doesn't like to draw attention to myself, however throughout high school I learnt to believe in myself, stand up for myself and gained self confidence and 'came out of my shell'.

That was 4 years ago.

Now, aged 20, I have no self confidence what so ever, I have been with my boyfriend for almost three years and at the beginning of our relationship I was confident with myself as I was slim, I was a size 8/10 and I would say the happiest I've been.

The past year I have gained weight, although it may not seem a lot I can tell as I am now in 10/12 clothes and don't feel comfortable at all.

I gained more weight since losing my mum last year and this had a massive impact on myself as a person. I no longer want to socialise with friends as much, I don't do half of the things I used to, I am in a job which I hate which also makes me feel so depressed.

I get jealous whenever my boyfriend goes on nights out because I know him and his mates will check out other girls who are hotter than me.

I just want to know how I can gain some self confidence back and stop feeling like some worthless 20 year old with nothing going for her.

How do I start to love myself again?

View related questions: confidence, depressed, jealous

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2015):

Hey,let me start by saying that every human being is beautiful no matter what. Over the years I figured out one thing that there is no perfect size. I have a friend she really fat and everyone teases her...now guess what I am skinny not flat but thin and others love crack jokes about me too. Believe me you can't expect others to love you if you don't love yourself..Its not your size but your overall persona and charm that matters....That has been my mantra all through and I have never let go of that...so walk up to the mirror and look at yourself the way you want your boyfriend to look at you...Im sure it will help.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2015):

ok you need to learn to switch some values here but firstly let me offer you my deepest condolen es to you for the loss of your mum! Whatever your relationship was your mum is a pivotal person in your life because she bought you into this world and cared for you to the best of her capacityfor as long as she could.I recommend grief therapy for you where you get to talk ovwr your feelings.About the weight.,Never value yourself for the size you are.Those things are just labels.Try to value yourself for all the unique and wonderful things you are but grief ciuncillor will belp with this so see your doctor and tell him/her " im having a hard time right now and would like to arrange a talking therapy!"ok thiz is a good stepping stone for you.

!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2015):

I feel like I typed this! That's sounds so much like how I've been feeling. I'm almost 21, and I was 120 pounds back in like July of last year. But I got on birth control and I now weigh 140. I get more exercise now than I ever had, because I have a very demanding job. And I never changed my diet. It is horrible to feel like I am just losing it, I don't feel good about myself at all anymore! It's the worst feeling! I'm trying so hard to feel good about myself and it is so difficult. Just hang in there, and always make sure you tell yourself good things about yourself everyday! I get depressed a lot. Instead of sleeping until I have to go to work at 1 pm when I have to work late, I get up at 5-7 am and do whatever throughout the day before work. Makes me feel better, like I did something with my day.

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