A
female
age
30-35,
*ope_l_W1989
writes:A few facts;I am in a same sex relationshipI’m 26 and she’s 28We have been together a year and a halfI am her first ever same sex relationship. So my partner's phone is always on quiet, not even vibrate, just silent. When she wakes up she takes her phone to the bathroom and first then comes and sits down, she always places it face down and it is never out of her reach. So we’ve been together just over a year and half, it’s been tough! Tougher than any relationship I have ever had. I have had to deal with a lot of cheating rumours and allegations against her. We have survived these; I’ve chosen to believe her. On a number of occasions I have caught her out for lying – not about big things but I asked if she had text this guy back who kept calling her beautiful and stuff, she said no, something about her reaction didn’t sit right so I, without a second thought, asked her to prove it. Within an instant she told me she lied and that she had; Not a major lie, but a lie all the same right? So last week she added a mate on Facebook and they were chatting on the wall in public, then he says he will private message his number, that was fine. I asked her if she had done this and when she and him where planning to meet up, and she said she hadn’t heard from him and had no intention of meeting up with him. Literally the next day, she got a text from an unknown number. The way she reacted was odd, she claimed not to know who it was from, so she text the number back asking who it was, and sure enough it was this guy.. I asked her where he got the number from and she said she didn’t know so she text him asking him where he got it from, he said Facebook. I know for a fact her phone number is not displayed on Facebook, yet she insists she didn’t give it to him and this is where it has come from.Last night when we were in bed, her phone went off (its now on loud due to her missing a phone call from the hospital telling her, a family member was very poorly) she got a text, from a guy I have never heard her mention, saying “would you still like a threesome”. It feels like its one thing after another. I know her well enough to know that if the phone wasn’t on loud last night, she probably would of got up, taken her phone to the bathroom, and read it, and not told me about it. I told her this and she swears she would have told me, I don’t think she would have. I’m now thinking, this surely cant be a one off? Would it be wrong of me to ask her to change her number?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (22 April 2015):
She'll still be the same person with a new number, it'll just be an inconvenience to have to give it out again.
You're with a cheater. Let's be blunt here. Sometimes it can be fixed, but in this case it's possible she needs attention from both women and men. That can't be fixed.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 April 2015):
 Why do you think changing her number would help the situation?
Will it prevent her from being secretive? NO
Will it stop her lying? NO
I would go ahead and ask her to do it. And see what she says... cause all she has to do is post on Facebook "i changed my number the new number is ...."
What are you trying to resolve by getting her to change her number?
these questions are asked to get you to dig deeper personally and figure out what you really need/want to do?
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A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (22 April 2015):
 I think you are asking a wrong question. It's not whether she should change her phone number but it's whether you should change the partner. She is definitively involved in things that you are not part of and as that guy's message suggests it is sexual.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 April 2015):
 Let me start with your last question first :
"Would it be wrong of me to ask her to change her number?"
What good would it do? SHE gave him the number. YOU are having all these doubts because you KNOW she will FIB to avoid drama with you. YOU are SO willing to be spoon-fed lies, because you want to relationship to work. It's not working if she is LYING.
Do these guys she is chatting with KNOW that she has a GF? Or is it a "secret". And where does she MET all these guys?
As for her phone habits. I think she has EVERY right to privacy when it comes to her phone. BUT she does act like she thinks if you don't see it, you can't be upset about it.
You have a bi-sexual partner. ONE who thinks "what she doesn't know won't hurt her" (about you). I think she is still looking for "love". Let's say for a minute that these guys she befriend were all females. Would that make you feel the same way?
Maybe you NEED to talk boundaries and trust with her.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (22 April 2015):
 I wouldn't ask her to change her number.... I'd tell her that I AM (WAS) CHANGING PARTNERS!!!! You don't need this angst and stress in your life.....
Good luck...
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