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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have only a few days left until I leave uni for the summer, and I have had major feelings for someone throughout the year. We are good friends and she knows how I felt about her but considering this, we are still close and flirty. I don't know whether I should tell her everything before I go, as she is in her last year at uni and I don't think I will see her again for a long time. So do you think I should tell her how I've felt because I really need to know if she felt anything for me. That's all I want to put my mind at ease! Please help! thanks.
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male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (26 May 2006):
 Yes, you should tell her, but...
I'm sure you've considered the consequences of telling her and not telling her. If you've carried these deep feelings for some time, your mind could not have helped but obsess about confessing.
If you have time, write your confessions and professions in a letter. I'm doing the same thing right now as a close friend of mine prepares to move away in July. She has been my inspiration to look at the relationships I have in a way that has never occurred to me in 39 years of living. The writing will help me sort out the good from the bad, i.e. I want to tell her things that reflect how grateful I am that we met and avoid telling her things that would simply freak her out. Like you, I have some very deep feelings to properly resolve.
Putting your thoughts on paper (or in a Word document) can help you decide what you want to tell your friend. More importantly, in the course of writing this letter you may gain some insight into your relationship with her. Simply asking your friend if she returns your feelings doesn't really do anyting but feed your obsession. In fact her answer may be irrelevant since you haven't quite figured out what to do with your feelings for her.
You have many years ahead of you, and it is quite possible that you will stay in touch with your friend long after university is done. Good luck with what course of action you decide to take.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2006): YES, YES and YES!!! You will regret it for a LONG time otherwise. Go for it dude!
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (25 May 2006):
 Life is short so you need to muster that courage and just tell her...maybe she feels the same way, as you are already good friends! If she declines, at least you are spared the embarrassment of having to see her at Uni. next term. If you don't act on your feelings now you will forever wonder 'what if'.
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A
male
reader, lboy +, writes (25 May 2006):
 i think you should tell her how you feel, because it's like they say "friends first, lovers last", the only way that you will get her to tell you the way she feels is if you come out about all of your feelings for her, because you'll never know unless you try.Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (25 May 2006):
 By all means tell her, but if your not going to see her for a while, if you do both feel the same, will a long distance relationship work ? What is it that you are actually wanting from this ? and is this the right time ? If you love her, then yes tell her if you think she feels the same, after all if you dont tell her you will never know!
Good luck
x
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