A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I ended an 20 year controlling and difficult marriage this year. it's great to be free, and I'm loving having my own house, and friends. I met a lovely man, and after a few months and several dates, he is very keen for us to sleep together. To be honest, so am I. Trouble is, first of all, when we kiss and play, I feel very little. I don't get turned on very much. Second, I didn't really have a good sex life with my ex, it was always aggressive and fast, with me doing most of the work. New guy is very gentle and slow. I am so nervous about taking this further. I think I won't know how to please him, that I won't be any good, and that I'll make a fool of myself by being so inexperienced and stupid -at my age!Help! How do people get the courage? How do I do this? Any advice at all much appreciated!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2010): Truth will come only after you get in to marriage with new guy and have the responsibilities t hat you had and your Ex hubby had
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2010): I kind of feel that if you "feel nothing" now, you won't later and you will end up with a length of time wasted again. It takes more than like to make a relationship work and if you don't precum at the thought of his naked hot body, you never will and it will be doomed to fail. I apologize for being brutally honest but I was there before and know from my experience. However, we are not all the same so you may find it different. I've never met anyone who has though.
You just got free from the throws of hell. Take some time to explore and enjoy yourself. Don't rush and make sure that when you do get involved, you feel something. It's only fair to the two of you!
Again, don't mean to hurt you or sound like a know it all. I just can identify with what you are feeling and where you are at and wish you the best, not to return to misery.
Trust you gut!
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum +, writes (27 August 2010):
 I would suggest telling him a tiny part of your past and that because of it you feel extra nervous about sex with him. If he understands where you are coming from it will make for fantastic sex between you two.
Good luck doll have fun.
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