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male
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anonymous
writes: Im male, 21 years old, and have a problem, I have never had a girlfriend which is making me really depressed, I have low self esteem from my past, I have asked 2 girls out in the past both times being rejected which I think is my main problem with talking to girls nowadays, the first time was when I was 15/16 and I fancied this girl, well one day 2 of her friends approached me asking If I fancied her and I said Yes, they then made out that she was interested and that I should ask her to the prom so I agreed that I would, well imediatly afterwards they started laughing and saying they were lying and walked off, the girl I fancied was in the background she then approached me and said sorry and walked off and that was the last time I ever spoke to her,The second time I got rejected was with my best friend, I wasnt very popular just well average I guess, I wasnt bullied but didnt exactly have a shitload of friends and she was very popular very pretty but we had been great friends for years, when we left school I realised I had feelings for her not just a crush but I think I loved her and risked my friendship by telling her and she turned me down (to be fair she had a boyfriend of 2 years at the time but he was such a jerk and arrogant I didnt give a crap about him so tried anyway) Are friendship became strained and we havent spoke now for about 3 years :(I currently work on a chicken farm and fancy the bosses daughter! and have done since I started working there 2 years ago the thing is she has a boyfriend who to me appears to be a jerk but makes her happy treats her well, strong relationship basically, anyway last week a work collegue told her I fancied her! I was furious as I had no intention of telling her! I asked my friend what her response was and all she said was that It made her blush and imo a girl blushes when being told this for 3 reasons1.They fancie you back2.flattered but not interested3.Embarresed that someone like me could fancie her ie not good enough for herWell I'm convinced its no.2 as in the last week she has avoided me, So what should I do? I'm thinking about confronting her about the situation because I need to know so I can move on from this but am too nervous to ask her about it and am afraid of yet another heart breaking rejection and am really worried that I will never find someone to love and who will love me back and worried where my life is going, I lost all my m8's from school as they went off to have a life whilst all I do is go work, get home, watch tv go bed and then start again and because of lack of friends never get the chance to go out, Im ok with talking to girls once I get going but these past rejections have made me a nervous wreck around girls I like , people always tell me to be confident but thats easier said than done, I'm not even worried about sex (definetly ready, wearing to go lol) but more nervous talking to them, I dont consider myself ugly have an average physique and am convinced these past rejections have made me who I am today. I have no one to talk to, It will be too weirld talking to my parents about it, my m8s dont help much (they do try though) and my brother is the total opposite to me, he gets virtually any girl he wants and cant help as he doesnt understand what I feel so any help would be greatThanksp.sSorry I typed so much, got carried away
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best friend, bullied, crush, depressed, has a boyfriend, move on, never had a girlfriend, self esteem, she has a boyfriend, talking to girls Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both for your comments, Ive been thinking about this a lot today at work, I change my mind daily but today I feel I should try and move on because she goes university but has been on holiday so I have seen her a lot lately but she went back on Monday so I probably wont see her again till Christmas which will hopefully be long enough for me to move on although everytime she comes back the feelings come back, although were not exactly friends we always talk if we see each other but I thinks she uncomfortable about the situation which Is the last thing I want her to feel so maybe I should lie to her and just say its a small crush and i'll get over although then again if I dont see her till Christmas time she may have forgot about so when she comes back i'll see how she acts around here,
I typed all that in as I was thinking of new ideas so it may come of as confusing but I'm so confused and peed off lol as I want to tell her but you all know how it is with a crush, you think the most amazing thing will happen like a movie but the truth is it probably wont!
A
female
reader, kayjay +, writes (28 September 2006):
 Unfortunately we cant always have the one we want. The thing with the girl at school, i would just forget about, skool kids can be nasty and have fun hurting other ppls feelings. I wouldnt let that worry you.
As far as ur bosses daughters goes, id say something. Just tell her you are sorry if what he said makes her feel uncomfortable and u would still like to be friends. You never know, maybe if she is not happy with her bf she will let u know.
Go out with ur brother. Maybe he is the one that gets all the girls but a lot of girls like the quieter types. Just try and be urself cause u sound like a really nice guy. Sometimes when we look for something to hard, its harder to find. And anyway, u are only 21, u have a long time to find someone to love. Good luck sweety. xx
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A
female
reader, Leonie +, writes (27 September 2006):
Look, you need to gon out meet someone new you cant go for her if shes got a boyfriend, its not fair on her part. try get over her i know its hard.
As for the friend thing i went through something very similar and it does make you feel like shit doesnt it, dont let it knock your confidense you sound like a great guy and you will find some one right for you when the time is right.
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