A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:On December 2nd 2009 I was grabbed on my way home and raped by a man I'd never seen before. I went to A and E and got given PEP. They said that if he was positive the chance that I will get it considering I'm taking PEP is less than 5%. I remote reported him to police but I'm scared. I'm terrified that if the drugs don't work and he was positive that I might be. I can't eat or sleep properly and I keep having flashes of what he did to me. I won't be able to get a test until march. I'm eighteen years old I don't want to be told I have something in me that will kill me. What do I do?
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female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (28 December 2009):
If classes are too much for you, there are also many many online support groups like aftersilence.org run by former victims. You are not alone, reach out and get help. My mum (a nursing manager on the NHS) has just confirmed that therapy is free and sometimes transport provided if necessary. I really commend you for getting immediate help. Most men who go through this don't even get medical attention so you are headed in the right direction. All the best
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2009): actually your profile stated male...its just that it is so rare to read about male/rape we tend to assume. Even with the profile stating male...sometimes the profile is incorrect and that is why i asked. I agree with the others that you do need to continue on with the therapy. if you are not currently going to therapy, find someplace where you can discuss your feelings with a qualified counselour of some kind. there should be hotlines available...there are in the US im not sure about there. Please take care of your needs in this area. I would think that the risk of disease is very low and would try not to focus on that too much.Hon, it has been a tramatic thing and you just want it to go away, but it does take time. best to you, mal
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry I should have pointed out I am male. Thank you to those of you who have offered advice, it means a lot.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2009): Hello, I just wanted to say I'm really really sorry to read your post re what has happened to you. I think you got some good answers to your post & I hope you keep in touch with the professional medical, legal & counselling services who can give you all their relevant expertise to help you get through this. Take care of yourself and don't let your worry or anxiety about this spoil things for you. Allow yourself a recovery time and don't compromise your safety because you are distracted etc .. stay alert without being paranoid and look after your diet etc & I think that seeing a counsellor could really help. I wish you all the best for a long and happy healthy life once you have got through this difficult time. x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2009): Im confused...are you a male or female? Also as an american can you clarify A & E...im guessing it is the equivilent of our ER (emergency room)? And i am so sorry that this happened to you. mal
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A
female
reader, Angzw +, writes (28 December 2009):
I am so sorry for what you are going through... My first advice is that you go to the therapy class your nurses gave you. You probably feel like there is no point and would rather crawl into your bed, but talking person to person with other survivors is the best way to begin your baby steps to recovery.
As for catching something, if you stay on your anti-retroviral medication its highly unlikely that you will catch something. It may be hard for you to read this but if in the unlikely event you do get HIV, this is no longer a death sentence. People with HIV now are expected to live into old age. Medical advances have turned it into an illness like Diabetes or blood pressure; illnesses that rarely kill you unless you are on a poor diet and skipping meds. I know what I'm talking about because this is the field of work I'm in. I have dealt with people who have had HiV since they were in their mid 20's and are now in their 50's and are still not on any meds; just managing their health with diet and thinking positive because they can't afford meds. But in your country your NHS subsidizes everything any drugs you might need. Just think positive. Negative thoughts will not keep you healthy. You have already survived this animal that did this to you; don't continue to give him power over your life for much longer... Go to class and do the 12 step course if they have one. Before you know it, you will be a shoulder to lean on for other young girls going through the same things. All the best
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2009): Hey, just tackling the HIV side of things here. I'm sure they have already given you the facts so I wanted to reaffirm. The chances of you catching HIV, even if your attacker is positive, is very small. "Catching" HIV is a complex theory that involves more than just having an individual encounter with someone who is infected.The only other thing I would say is, having been involved with people who suffered rape, I have seen all of them, without exception, be able to move on from it and have happy, normal lives. I'm not saying it will happen over night, it will be a gradual thing and sometimes it might feel like you are back at day 1, but I do hope I can give you at least some reassurance that you will conquer this.. you are not a victim, you are a survivor. Take care...
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (28 December 2009):
I think you need more help than people on the internet can give.
Here are some websites with trained people who can give professional advice.
http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk
http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/Resources/helplines.htm
I really hope you can recover from this. All I can add is that you have to fight against the fear and don't let this man take more from you than he already has.
This kind of attack is very rare and since he didn't use protection and the police have his DNA there is a good chance they will get him.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (28 December 2009):
 Sweetheart - I almost never say this on this site but I think that you need to go and see a professional counsellor unless there is some other appropriate adult figure who can look after you.
The likelihood of male to female transmission of HIV in single unprotected sex act is actually very low. I have seen studies put the risk of transmission as low as 1 in 1000. These studies are not usually publicised for fear of making people complacent about high risk behavior.
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