A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm not sure what is wrong with me? After sex, I don't want to see the person anymore or have any sort of contact with them. I don't even care if they don't want to ever see me again as well. When they do contact me, I feel so disgusted and I end up starting fights with them for no reason or act withdrawn/disinterested so they could just leave me alone. I know this is not normal behavior. I have no clue why I do this, please help!!! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2009): Your hurt from your first relationship im the same my first love broke trod and spat on my heart and its still not fixed the best sex ive ever had was with him and no other guy compares to him but i think its just about finding the right guy.
its good that you know that your pushing this guys away straight after sex maybe you should force yourself not too.see how it goes from there
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2009): Im like that with guys in general when im dating i have a list in my head of the things i dont like about the lad when really i should be making a list of all the good things about the person.Do you want to remain single or are you looking for a relationship?I understand why you wouldnt want to contact the guy if its just a one night stand but sex is so much better with a guy you actually like.So try getting to know the guy go on dates before having sex with them.
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A
female
reader, nazeena  +, writes (7 August 2009):
It sounds like a one night stand, more about sex and anything else. Maybe you should try to get to know the person before rushing into sex. At least you would get to know more about them other than the sex part. Getting to know someone can change a lot in your life. At least maybe then you resent the person, because you never it could be rush a really good guy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo clarify, these are not one night stands. I never had a one night stand before. I have had several relationships where it has gotten intimate and I felt this way afterwards. I have gotten to know my boyfriend(s) or FWB(s) prior to being intimate with them for quite a few months or an extended period of time. When I'm intimate, I am in the moment and do want to have sex with them (so it's not that I'm being forced into it). However, after having sex with them the relationship changes on my part. They still contact/want to be with me, however I just don't have any interest in being with them. Honestly, I really want to change because I want a healthy and real relationship at this point in my life.
I think this all stems from my first real (and sexual) relationship. My ex-boyfriend just used me for sex, had no real emotions/feelings for me, then dumped me without any explanation (disappeared) on his part while I really had strong emotions for him. I was very hurt by this, but its been a while now and I'm over it. But I guess I'm not? Because I'm repeating his pattern with me in my relationships now. I feel like I'm trained this way or something. How can I stop this??? I just feel like leaving everytime when I'm with these guys!!
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A
female
reader, \m/J.D\m/  +, writes (7 August 2009):
 Could it be that your not enjoying the sex? Just because from my own acts like this were because im well... Evil in that sense. If i dont enjoy it i dont wanna kno anymore as selfish as that is. Or is this just one nite stands?? You dont really give all that much info so im finding it a little hard answering this one. Ok.. Im going to answer this as if it is one nite stands, im not suprised it makes you feel bed and you dont want to kno them anymore, shame is a wonderful thing! Not sayin you should be ashamed everyone deserves a bit of fun now and again. But hun, you gotta make a guy work for it. Never kno if you leave it a couple of weeks take the time t get t kno them you mite just enjoy yourself and still WANT to kno that guy. If im barking up the wrong tree here then i havent a clue why else you would be feeling this way. Give me some more insight into your situation and i may be able to comment more. If not take care and good luck :)
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A
male
reader, The Gentle Man +, writes (7 August 2009):
 It sounds like you are only interested in sex with these people. Once you have it you just want to discard them and get on with things.Perhaps if you invest yourself into a relationship and leave the sex until you are close and comfortable with someone you won't feel bad afterwards.
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