A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, FROM A MALE PERSPECTIVE PLEASE????OK I'm trying to find an answer to why it took my boyfriend the time it did to get over the life he had with his ex...So if you are a man and your with a girl who is 8years younger than you for 5 years and know her for 7 years in total, you live together in your house for 18 months and it's all goin wrong, you go away for a weekend, you meet an old flame from more than 10 years back and you fall for her big time, you have to leave the current G/F down gently as she is only young (22 at the time), she doesn't take it very well which is expected and it takes 3 months before she moves out. She stays in touch afterwards trying to mend the relationship but you try to be as nice as you can but you know you want the relationship with the new girl to work.My question is how long should it take for the man to get over the life he shared with her, to realise that the presumably good life they once shared came to a bitter end but it was for the best?????All answers are appreciated, I have an idea how it would feel for me to move on from my first loves relationship after 7 years, I know it would take me a considerable amount of time but I'm really trying to get this from a guy's point of view.Thank you
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2009): The answer is not as easy as maths. There is no real answer to that question other than everyone has a different amount of time and different circumstances. And there are so many things that affect it. It depends on the status on their previous relationship, his surrounding friends, past breakups if any, family, personality, mind set, morals, and well most importantly strength of ones own willpower.
For me it takes a few months (more than 1 and less than 6), but I am strong myself. After that I usually just become friends with my ex. They knew so much about me anyway, I didn't see a reason to not be friends.
In any case, I think there's no real answer to that guy, only he knows, although I'm not sure if he moved on at all ^^
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2009): There is no one all-encompassing answer that answers any particular inquiry universally. It's dependent on the person's: perception, awareness, layered experiences, logic, reasoning and understanding, knowledge, immediate influences, subtle influences, upbringing and so on and so forth. It also relies on the connection that one person has with the other, the intricacies of that relationship and the reactions of each person coinciding any given issue and issues within that issue or issues.
It may take Rick Hunter 6 months to get over Minmei, but take the same Rick Hunter 2 years to get over Ranka. Minmei could be very bubbly but emotional. Ranka could be more gullible, but more firm. There are so many factors that a mere situation would not justify a proper 'accurate' answer.
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