A
male
age
36-40,
*ts secret
writes:wel this is seriousi belong from a conservative family and i m in love with a girl who lives far away from me, we never met b4 in person and we hv been in to this for 3years. we both put a lot of efforts for this relation and i hv been throughly committed and faithful. bt she is abit more liberal than me and i m alys struggling in this part. she is a social-worker that takes her most time, at the end of day, i hardly get few mins with her. over that, she is not able 2 undrstand the deep feelings i m having for her, if i gt lil possesive she, says i m limiting her or sometimes she says for me she wil stop meeting every1, that makes me feel guilty. she has many friends male and female, which make me sometimes jealous when i see her with her male frnds closely. i m alyas supporting her and 4 her, so that she dont feel jealous, i give my 100% efforts and time 2 her. but still she complains sometimes she is tired.she sometimes go out to meet her frnds and get late nite, which i m not so comfortable wid, bt if i react even a bit, she gets arrogant wid me. at that point its very hard 2 cool her down. her promises she makes to me often gets broken coz of her different situation every time. some time she just take my feelings negatively.we make some plans, 4 our selfs 2 give each-other time, but often its messed coz of some of her programs thre. i get sad 2 this things sometimes and she also get effected coz i m sad and then i hv to manage myself and then her, which is so hard 4 me.thre has been days i waited for her over nite and all day, trying 2 call and txt her, but i dont get any reply coz she is busy in work. its gets very hard 2 reach her sometimes. if i say her that, she says, i m complaing too much.it gets more difficult for me wen i see her wid some of her male friend, leaning 2 her or punting his hand around her. i feel helpless..... this relation is so delicate and not like other normal love coz its online and over long distance.i separated myself from anything that may hurt her and i fully devote myself 2 this relation, but i m not able to work things out so easily, specially wen everyone around discourage me that, it wont survive coz its online.i know she loves me and she is also putting effort for me. i hv alyas loved her truly and letting her go will create a hole in my chest. but i dont want 2 let her b unhappy with me..... can any 1 please suggest me anything? thanx so much if any 1 finds sum time to answer, it will b great help!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009): I would agree with anyone who says its only an online relationship. If you are not making an effort to meet her and to take this to the next level what more do you expect?
It does not sound like she is saying anything out of the ordinary. I am assuming you are saying she can't be online to chat with you because something in the real world comes up. That is going to happen.
If you are as much in love as you say you are you need to take this to the next level. Even if you are in another city you can still meet up and see what she is like. Maybe she is completely different from what you thought. You say you have not met before.. does that mean you have never met? What do you mean when you say you "see her" with other boys? It is not clear.
Finally, please write in complete words not in sms shorthand that teens like to use. It is very annoying to read.
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