A
female
age
41-50,
*appiness28
writes:I am 28 years old and have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. He is the same age. He is Sikh and is family can't find out about me. This means that I cannot go to his house or go to any social events, ie weddings or parties, in case someone he knows sees him with me. It's driving me crazy and I know deep down that he would choose his family over me, because they would probably disown him and they seem quite backward. We end up just going for meals or to the cinema, and sometimes out drinking with friends. He is welcome in my house but he never stays the night, which really hurts ( I feel like Im being used) but the reality is that his parents are strict that they would question where he had been. He never admits this and when I first met him he seemed very western. As time is passing I am realising how backward he also seems and this is worrying. We have been on a few holidays together and he tells his family he is going away with his mates, but I just wonder to myself how long is this gonna last and would he really tell his family about me eventually. I have doubts and have heard stories about girls getting really hurt and their sikh boyfriens going off to India and coming back married. Im not naive and I know the reality is that what ever happens it will be a struggle and a constant battle. One day I was at his house and his dad came back early, he walked in and saw me, he did not say a word and walked straight past. I felt awful and my boyfriemd just laughed it off. It wouldn't be so bad if my boyfriemd was more understanding to my feelings are realised how hard it is for me. I see other couples going shopping together, spending time with each others families and friends and get really jealous. I just want an easy happy life and wonder if I ever will be with this guy.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, happiness28 +, writes (9 February 2009):
happiness28 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know hes not married already, as I have been to his house before and can tell he is on his own. I have met his sister and one of his cousins.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2009): Please take my advice. He is not going to marry you. Just drop him. He is just using you. Are you sure he is not married already?
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