A
female
age
51-59,
*hinachik
writes:MOD NOTE: 2 posts combined...1st post..I have been in a relationship for about 6weeks and already had a few problems. I thought he was divorced, but it turns out he has only been separated from his wife since christmas, and she rang me to warn me off her husband. He insists that it was over and wanted me to stay with him and I did, but it haunts me.Then last week he lost his job and now he feels negative about our relationship and asked for space saying I make him want to run.How come something so wonderful and positive turn so quickly? He says he has strong feelings for me, and is confused- I can't believe he could think so badly of me. Are we splitting up? I really don't know what is going on. I feel like I'm victim to forces beyond my control- should I just move on?2nd post..I am in a new relationship, but alredy there are a few problems, my boyfriend feels that I am trying to control him and always insist that I'm right. I thought I was giving him some advice and I know I'm headstrong, but don't feel what he says is fair.I've recently moved for a job and have no-one who really knows me or talk to and I met him pretty much straight away...maybe I have been intense- but he is equally intense. He says its not fun anymore and I'm too serious.
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christmas, divorce, lost his job, move on Reply to this Question
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male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (22 April 2010):
 If this were a relationship of longer-standing, in which you'd made more of an investment and fundamentally knew the guy better, I'd suggest you stick with it. But you're getting warning signs right off the bat. The fact that he wasn't truthful about his divorce is a huge red flag. What happens if he remains unemployed for a year -- how much worse are things going to be by then?
I think you have an opportunity here to save yourself a world of grief.
A
male
reader, TimmD  +, writes (22 April 2010):
 He sounds like bad news. He's already lied to you about being divorced and that helps reinforce what his wife is saying may be true.
The problem is most likely him and relationships. He was looking for something fun and different from his marriage. Now that you are getting serious, he doesn't want that.
This isn't a man you can have a long lasting relationship with. Leave him.
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