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female
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anonymous
writes: Basically, i have recently (about 2 months ago) found out that my ex boyfriend and close friend who I am still very much in love with thinks he may be gay. He doesn't know that I know (no one else does either). I found his page on one of those websites for meeting people when browsing my area. What do I do? I want to tell him I know, so he can talk to me about it, and so he can explain some things - but should I tell him i know? I know it's one of those things he should tell people, not the other way round. What do I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2006): Yeah like beenthere mentioned, don't force the matter on him. Instead, I suggest you just tell him over another conversation, "If you ever need to talk to someone, you know I'll be here for you." Make sure over time, you express your trust and security with him. That you will not betray his trust on you. It takes effort, space, support, and time to earn trust.For example, I knew one of my friends had some problems with family, work, school, gf, finances, and personal stuffs, but instead of going to the exact topic, I just started telling him about my recent problems, etc. He slowly opened himself up to me.
A
female
reader, beenthere +, writes (20 February 2006):
it is a bit awkward. maybe if you see a guy you think is attractive, you could mention it and see his reaction. but really you should leave it up to him to tell you when he is ready. he might not be sure himself. don't force the subject.
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