A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay this may sound stupid, but I really need to know. Okay... my boyfriend and I have made an agreement to abstain from sex until marriage. We do how ever fool around. I am a virgin so it is very important to me that we don't have intercourse before we are legally married. Our wedding day is a month away and I have not received my period since October 15th. I have read that it is possible for a woman to get knocked up without having sex, but if I'm a virgin then isn't the hymen blocking the entrance into my vagina? And I haven't really had any symptoms except weird cramping. I don't want to take a home pregnancy test, because I don't trust the results. Is being pregnant even a possibility?
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hymen, period, pregnancy test, vagina, wedding Reply to this Question
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female
reader, the1st1 +, writes (30 December 2008):
i would take a test, but just so you know, if you are stressed out, that can delay your period. it can change your days, and even make you not have one, and or have more/less days. just relax, and the cramping could be from your hormones causing it to come late
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2008): I do think that you can become pregnant if you don't have sex but its because you have been playing around and if so i will tell you to go and get checked because its not alot that happens but people actually become pregnant from that. But to my opinion i prefer having sex than just letting someone touch me and becase of that me becoming pregnant ;)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): yes, there is a chance of getting pregnant...
depending on your terms of "fooling around" that is. by my terms, yes u could. if he touched himself before he touched you, or if precum happened to get on his hands, thers a chance you could be pregnant!
also, your hymen won't stop you getting pregnant. plus, just because you havent had sex, it doesnt mean you'll stil have your hymen...it can be broken using tampons and during sport!
Much respect for you for deciding to keep it until marriage! take a pregnancy test, and if its negative, don't let the worry affect your big day! I think it may just be nerves!
Good luck for the future =]
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A
female
reader, sandra78 +, writes (20 December 2008):
It all depends on what your idea of " fooling around" is.. I've got 2 babies by " just the tip" even if he doesn't go all the way, the semen can still get up there and ruin your life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2008): Pregnancy is not very likely in your case.
If you have cramping that may be a sign of an impending period.
If you are getting married shortly then I presume you are stressed and stress can delay the onset of a period. My guess would be that this is what has happened together with worrying about being pregnant.
Do a home pregnany test, they are very accurate and it will put your mind at ease and allow you to concentrate on your wedding day.
Hope this helps!
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (17 December 2008):
First I want to commend you and your fiance' for deciding to refrain from intercourse until marriage. It sounds like you two have respected each others' wishes and worked together to meet that goal. My wife and I did the same thing, 35 years ago.
I have seen it stated, in many places, that it IS possible to get pregnant without intercourse. However, I have never encountered anybody who actually had it happen. On the other hand - I know MANY couples (myself included!) who had premarital pregnancy scares much like you describe. I don't know if any of their periods were over a month late; my wife was over 2 weeks late.
To get pregnant, your guy's sperm needs to get into your vagina. Supposedly, this can happen if his ejaculate is on your external genitals, or on fingers that enter you. And it's said that even a guy's pre-orgasm lubricating fluid (the "pre-cum") can impregnate you. (Again, I don't know anybody who actually got pregnant from any of these activities.)
What does "fooling around" mean? Prior to marriage my wife and I did "everything but intercourse", including oral sex, dry humping, and naked (or almost naked) cuddling. We were careful about keeping my ejaculate away from her genital area. If you have been careful about this then it is less likely that you are pregnant.
I think it would be a good idea to do a home pregnancy test, but postponing it for a month is unlikely to be harmful. What difference would it make if you are, indeed pregnant? I hope you would start the regimen of nutrition, vitamins, exercise, etc that is designed to make your baby as healthy as possible. If you yourself are following good health habits then waiting a month isn't likely to harm your baby.
If you are pregnant, would your pending marriage be cancelled? If so - as sad and painful as it is to say - you probably shouldn't be marrying this guy. At its core marriage is a mutual commitment between people "in sickness and health; for richer or poorer; until separated by death". Being pregnant and raising kids DOES stress a marriage and having children very early in a marriage is especially stressful, but it's far from a catastrophe. As recently as your grandparents' generation the majority of couples had children before their second wedding anniversary. (It was customary to save the top layer of the wedding cake so that it could be served at the christening of the couple's first child - about a year after the wedding.) My own daughter was pregnant 4 months after her wedding.
Are you afraid of others' reactions? In contemporary North American culture very few will even notice. A large percentage of all children - perhaps even the majority of first children - are conceived out of wedlock. Most of your friends and acquaintances already assume that you and your fiance' are sleeping together. As "Lizzybeth01" pointed out, even your close family are likely to rationalize a pregnancy as "just one of those things that happens".
OK - suppose you are NOT pregnant? Your symptoms may point to a health concern. It's not real likely . . . but . . . neither is pregnancy real likely. Have you had a premarital physical yet? You need to discuss this situation with an OB/GYN or a Family Practice doctor.
You are approaching perhaps the most significant, memorable, and joyful event in your life. And that is true whether you are pregnant or not. Most importantly - YOU know that you have kept your promise to yourself, and you have worked with your fiance' to achieve that. This teamwork and mutual respect are things that build very strong, fulfilling marriages. While these circumstances - regardless of the outcome - may alter some plans there is no reason to let them decrease your joy, tarnish your memories or devalue your marriage.
Prayers & blessings to you and your fiance'!
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A
female
reader, Lizzybeth01 +, writes (16 December 2008):
 Yes - you can get pregnant if the hymen is still intact, to answer that question. However, it seems impossible to me for you to be pregnant if none of his semen/sperm has come near your vagina. Are your periods often irregular? or is this a bizarre thing for you? My advice - take a home pregnancy test just in case. Generally they are pretty accurate. I'm actually expecting right now (5 weeks) and i took a home pregnancy test that came back positive. I immediately went to the doctor and she confirmed it. If you take the test and it's positive immediately make an appointment with yourdoctor. If it comes back negative, relax - odds are you aren't pregnant just paranoid. Best wishes on your up coming nuptials and no worries, worse case scenario if you are pregnant you'll be married in a month and most people will assume it is a "honeymoon" baby. You know you haven't had sex, that's all that matters. Good Luck!!!
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