A
female
age
36-40,
*hortyc1821
writes:I have been with this man for about 3 years and when I met him I was pregnant but wasn't with the dad because he was kind of immature younger than me and went off to college...but another story....so I moved with him when she was a year old and he treated her like his never abusive to her she is 4 now and he is her daddy and is a great dad. But over the years not so great to me , it has been an up and down roller coaster the first time he hit me not long after I moved with him I slapped him with a towel but not in a mean way and he grabbed my head and kind of pushed it down hard and I had a throbbing headache for days... he said he was sorry but always minimized it..it wasn't THAT HARD...or you pushed me first or something but he would do it back worse and I am 5 2 100 lbs... everything from punching me in the head face throwing me by my hair like a doll or treating me like a yo yo by my hair...he always made me feel like well I shouldn't have done that first if I pushed him or slapped him...sometimes nothing at all...after it kept so long he was just disgusting to me wouldn't want to touch him nothing but he would have 2 personalities think by 4 hours later it was better and when I would say Don't Touch Me Get away...it would start again..OK SEE HOW I TRY TO STOP AND YOUR BEING A B@#$....Playing mind games with my head. And very verbal..it got to the point where I hated him and wasn't gona let him do that and I would punch him back as hard as I could knowing he would get me back I had to defend myself ....without leaving which was stupid but he would always get me and say yeah how you gona pay your bills your rent your gona be homeless..and I would let him stay even if I was in the other room but he would come back with a whole nice side for a while...the FAKE NICE GUY...well now I am 3 months pregnant by him and it was good and thought it changed him and it had but then verbal abuse again and everytime I remind him something or bills due he blows up on me instead of talking...he'll talk later after he blew up on me first...and then we were arguing and he was just being sarcastic and laughing at me so I was pushing him out the door to leave and he turned around and picked me up by my shirt and threw me on the ground and I screamed at him that he's crazy and I'm pregnant and he tells me that I was the one pushing him. Now I don't know what to do because it will be hard with 1 kid and baby on the way that Is the difference for me and other stories...and he keeps throwing money in my face because I don't make a lot and don't have benefits for matrernity leave at all...I feel like I am really stuck not like others to walk away when I should have and moved out before..but this is the situation now and I can't let him do this and he will always be in contact and trying to be nice again. There is a very good side that's overcome by anger from his past and childhood. I don't want to fall apart alone and with a new baby I don't know what to do
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2010): the first time he hit/punched/threw/abused you in any way you should have left. Abuse becomes an escalating spiral. In NO way do you improve the situation by hitting him back. You think it is 'tit for tat/eye for an eye retaliation' But it does not work and does not stop the abuse. Show more dignity. Get advice from a Women's shelter. Do not threaten your abusive man with threats of what 'you will do'. Keep your powder dry. Get some supporters from a WomensShelter to show you how to plan a move. Domestic Abuse becomes Bigger and more abusive as time goes by. Can't leave him? Have you seen the statistics on serious injury and homicides that result from domestic violence? Do you realise it not only saps your self confidence? It also frightens your child. Little children should not have to endure this? Cant leave him? YES you can, and must.
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