A
female
age
30-35,
*hantellLle
writes:hi my name is chantelle and i'm 17 years old and pregnant. i need help and advice because i cant go through this alone, and my boyfriend is making things worse. my question is, what kind of talk can i have with my boyfriend to make him smarten up and treat me better? he's acting so immmature and annoying lately, what can i say to him? i need to talk to someone, i cant do it alone! please help thank you xoxox Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2010): He's going to behave however he does, and you don't need him if he's not going to be a man and have a part in his child's life.
You can NOT 'make' him do anything... so don't waist your time trying. He has to WANT to change... get all the legal information you can on this guy in case you have to hunt him down in a few years...
A
female
reader, girl from bristol  +, writes (31 January 2010):
hi perhaps he is not ready to be a dad if he is immature he should be supporting you he wont change maybe when he is older but you cant wait forever forget him and enjoy being a mum congratulations on the baby
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A
female
reader, ~Maureen  +, writes (30 January 2010):
Chantelle!
Congratulations on your baby!
It probably wasn't an expected baby, but trust me, God knows what He was doing.
Your boyfriend is probably freaking out inside that he has gotten you pregnant. He is most likely freaking on the inside because what he wanted from you was sex and not parenthood. However, I encourage you to stand up for yourself and act in the manner that will encourage his respect.
Your hormones are probably going wild now and you need to remain calm and in control at all times.
You are not alone. Even without your boyfriend, there are many people who will assist you in the pregnancy process and the money needed to care for the baby afterwards too!
Look in the phone book for a pregnancy assistance center. You will find the numbers under Abortion Alternatives. There, you will find caring and truly compassionate people who can hook you up with free stuff.
In the meantime, my advice to the father: Step up!
But you can tell him this:" ------, We are now parents. I am happy to be carrying your baby. Since I've found out I was pregnant, I've noticed how much more mature I am than you. I've decided to let you go. I need to be able to concentrate on our baby." Then you go about your life doing what you need to do WITHOUT calling him or texting or anything.
If you do it in a natural way, it will pique his interest. He will think, "what am I missing out on?". He won't expect it at all from you right now. See, he is feeling "trapped" so his instinct is to get free. If you allow some of the steam out, it will relieve that feeling and he may ask if he can "visit" or "call" you.
When he does, act as if you are only allowing it "for the baby's sake" because he is after all intimately connected to you through the baby anyway.
Hopefully, he can grow up and be a man. I wish you all the luck and blessings you can get.
Chantelle, you CAN do this! Everything will be okay and you and the baby are going to be fine.
LOVE
~Maureen
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (30 January 2010):
 Fatherless America. I should say Fatherless World. Many have gone through this alone and are doing fine, meaning being able to get through school, find a job and childcare at the same time. Some are depressed and are relying on social services alone. Don't let this be you. You have to stop expecting him to marry you and provide for you. Right now eat well, take multivitamins, go to prenatal checks regularly and be joyful and wonder at the amazing powers that you body has. You are growing a baby. When the baby comes out it will all be worth it.
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A
male
reader, bojolay +, writes (30 January 2010):
 Dear Chantelle,Congratulations on your new little baby. You are now making decisions for 2 people - yourself and your little baby. Girl often make the mistake of thinking that they can change their boyfriend. But no, you can't. He is the way he is and he will be like that forever. You can only change yourself. You have already changed yourself by having sex with that boy. That boy is not your friend, he is not your boyfriend. He used you like a piece of meat to satisfy his own sexual need. He lied to you. You must now find help for yourself and your little baby without him. First thing you do is - forget about him. He will not help you. Next, you go to the phone book and call a lawyer - a family lawyer. Make an appointment and go talk to the lawyer. Next, you go call the Salvation Army. If you have parents then you go talk to them. Forget about that boy - he is not your friend. He will never change.good luck.
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