A
female
age
30-35,
*exyBabes
writes:[Moderator's Note: 2 questions from the same poster have been merged together]Hey, i found out i was pregnant about 5 months ago and im 16. i wanted to get rid of it because im too young to be thinking of starting a family but im too far gone to be taking action. i really dont know how to deal with this. ive got a bump and still havent told the dad, or my mum. My friend is being very surportive, but im not ready for this im so scared!Please can anyone help?Iv'e been in a relationship for two years and everything going perfect, were having a baby... but he does drugs. Iv'e tryed cutting him down expespecially as we got a baby on the way but i mostly feel i need to be there to surport him. Im so scared that one day he is going to become ill because of it. Im stuck on what i can do to prevent this?
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (19 April 2010):
 The UK, so here are a whole list of organizations that can help you. You're feeling alone, you keep saying you are scared, so in order to get help and NOT feel alone you need to reach out to someone. Otherwise you're just sitting there saying "help me." Unfortunately, in this life, you have to help yourself. You are going to be needing help sooner rather than later and you might as well go get it.
http://www.childline.org.uk
Call ChildLine on 0800 1111
http://www.fpa.org.uk/Homepage
FPA helpline England
0845 122 8690 (9am to 6pm, Monday to Friday)
http://www.brook.org.uk/pregnancy/could-you-be-pregnant/what-if-i-am-pregnant
http://www.brook.org.uk/pregnancy/having-a-baby
Ask Brook for information on local services that can help you on 0808 802 1234.
http://www.tommys.org/
For advice and information about pregnancy-related issues, contact the Tommy's midwives.
Tel: 020 7398 3483
Email: [email address blocked]
Good luck to you as you manage this pregnancy and family difficulties.
A
female
reader, SexyBabes +, writes (19 April 2010):
SexyBabes is verified as being by the original poster of the question England, my mates mum has helped me though everything and btw i was on the pill so i wasnt putting this on myself. im showing so maybe i wont have to say anything and my mum can figue it out she already saying that it looks like im putting on weight. It is harder than it is with rules i have to live by. I dont wonna hurt anyone and im already doing it by not telling her, i hate lying to her. I work so im getting regular imcome so i guess thats a start.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (19 April 2010):
There are organizations that provide shelter and support for people at risk. Non-profit, non-government, volunteer groups. Which country are you in?
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A
female
reader, SexyBabes +, writes (19 April 2010):
SexyBabes is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have already got social services in my life, dont want anymore. i can tell my boyfriends mum and maybe i can stay with her. But i still got to face my boyfriend but im scared, im not ready for this but i guess i have no choice, this baby means so much to me and am going to have to push the limits. I no my boyfriend will be a good dad but i dont no how hes gonna take it. i feel like im stuck i need to find a way out without hurting anybody.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (19 April 2010):
You are going to get kicked out by your mother one way or another, so you might as well plan for it then.
Which country are you in? So we can find social services that can help you.
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A
female
reader, SexyBabes +, writes (19 April 2010):
SexyBabes is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all your advice, i have regularly been seeing my midwife, i think my boyfriend will be a great dad no dout about that. I could not give my baby up for adoption even though im young and wont able to take time out to look after it but i am gonna try my best because this baby deserves that. The only worry is his drugs, his mum knows and she is trying her best. Even though things are going to get so much worse because theres a baby involved im just gonna have to take each day as it comes. Telling my mum is a bad idea because she will kick me out and theres no where else to turn to. I still dont know what im surpose to do when i go into labour. How do i tell her without risking being kicked out with a baby to surport???
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (19 April 2010):
You can't make your boyfriend cut down on drugs; he has to be put into treatment for drug abuse.
I think when you have the conversation with your mother about your pregnancy, you'll have to tell his parents at some point as well.
I think telling his parents about his drug use is something you can do to get him the help he needs.
You have to put things in the proper priorities now, and dealing with your pregnancy comes first. It sounds as though you are making poor choices and I think you need to realize that behaving like an adult means you need to take the consequences. This includes sexual activity and drug use.
He needs to get clean not only for you and the baby but for his own health and life. His parents deserve to know that he's at risk and they can try to help.
I guess the message I'm trying to get through to you is that this is no longer just about you. This is about the baby. You have to do the right thing, unpleasant or uncomfortable though it might be.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (19 April 2010):
You have to tell your mother, if you think about it, you really don't have any choice. You're going to start showing eventually and things will be much much worse if you have to tell her that there's going to be a baby in 2 months. If you tell her now, she'll have some time to adjust.
Also, the baby's health is at risk here, as well as yours. You are taking a foolish risk with two lives at this point.
Tell your mum so you can be seen by a doctor ASAP.
If you are adult enough to have sex, you are adult enough to act like a mature person when you get pregnant, right? So go be brave and tell her, today.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2010): You can't prevent it. Unless he wants to stop, nothing will work. At 16 you must accept that this baby will be your sole responsibility. Do you want a baby? Im not asking if you want a family because he will probably not stick around. If you don't want the baby, then give it up for adoption. You can pick the family and even negotiate the terms. The agency will pay the expenses and everything!
You must tell you mother! She has been there and can help you! You are more than half way through your pregnancy with NO medical care?! Your mom will help you get to a doctor. She will be your rock through this. Be honest with yourself about what you want, and don't let anyone else convince you otherwise!
I had my son at 17, and believe me; having a baby is 90% work and 10% reward. Its all about them. You are barely a person when you have a baby! They grow and change, but its still mostly work. Take all things into account befire you decide what to do because whatever you decide will be irreversible.
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