A
female
age
30-35,
*ostNmyOwnWorld
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together over 2 and a half years. Everything was SO amazing with us when we first got together, about 5 months in, my parents, as a punishment, sent me on a missionary trip for two months to Iceland. When I returned home I heard all of these rumors about my boyfriend fooling around with other girls while I was on my trip. (Keep in mind he told me HE loved me after 3 months of being together and while on my trip, I had not ONE phone call or letter or email.) Anyways, the rumors ended up being true, which I didnt find out until about a year ago because I decided to put my faith and trust into my boyfriend and believe him over other people that run their mouth. Well, considering it was a long time ago and I had no reason to believe he would be unfaithful to me anymore I took him back with all of my heart and he continued to rip it into tiny pieces and give it to his one night stands as keepsakes. Stupidly, I stayed with him but hoping to get his attention I played him right back so he would know how it felt. I didnt cheat, but our relationship was an off and on type. So when we werent together, I would do anything I could to hurt him for all of the pain he put me through. For a while, it worked and he would BEG me back, which was what I wanted because I loved that feeling of him wanting me SO bad he felt like he HAD to have me. Weve been 'on' for quite some time now and resolved everything and decided to put the past behind us, which has worked quite well I must say...BUT. Okay, get this. Im 14 weeks pregnant with his baby now and at first things were great, he wants a boy yada yada yada..well now, for the past month and a half to two months, everything has gone down hill. He worries about what his buddies are doing and what their up to rather than worrieing** (is that how you spell that?) anyways, hes not worried about how im feeling, how the babies doing, if i need anything and so on...weve been to an ultrasound and one other appointment where we heard the heartbeat. Next we get to possibly find out the gender. Hes not excited about anything at all with me. At one point, in the beginning, he told me he was ready to settle down and start a family with me because I was the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. My dad insists we get married and I have no problem with that, but he holds back...says he doesnt want to until things get better. I tell him constantly that im depressed and stressed out about what a dramatic turn my life has taken and that I have negative thoughts about what my purpose is in life and why, if he sees that im hurting, still treats me the way he does. He says when I express my feelings that its 'all in my head' and when I cry im 'being immature or a cry baby'..I apologize for how long this is, but I feel like I had to put as much as I could in a short ammount so that it made sense...Anyhow, my question I have is: Why does my boyfriend decide to push me away and constantly put me down and make me feel worse that I already do?
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depressed, immature, one night stand Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2009): Men have difficulty dealing with a woman who is all upset and crying. They don't know what to do or say to make her feel better. Anything they do say usually comes out wrong and makes the situation even worse so they retreat into a corner somewhere until she's got over it.
I'd guess he's trying to get you to think and act like a man. Stiff upper lip, boys shouldn't cry, don't act like a big kid - that sort of thing. Sounds like he's dealing with you the same way that he was dealt with by his parents.
He seems interested in becoming a father, but he's just leaving the 'girly' things for you to sort out. You can show him pictures of a scan, look at baby clothes in catalogues etc. but he's probably more interested in playing football and going fishing with the kid when he's old enough.
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