A
female
age
30-35,
*osick07
writes:Over this past summer I changed my birth control from the Pill to the Shot, but I continued to have unprotected sex with my boyfriend. I hadn't had my period since July and around early October I started to have terrible morning sickness all the way up until the abortion, not to even add my breast were swollen and I gained some weight. I took an at home pregnancy test and it came out positive. I told my boyfriend and we both decided that I would get an abortion. I got the abortion in the middle of October. My boyfriend was very supportive and her took very good care of me. My boyfriend and I didn't have sex again until the beginning/middle of November. I started using the Nuvo Ring before we started back having unprotected sex. I had a little bloody discharged after we started having sex again. I haven't seen my period yet and its been almost 6 weeks since I had the abortion. I took two at home pregnancy tests last night and they both came out positive but the second one was very light and not as clear as the first...the Nuvo ring is still in me?? To top it off before I took the test my boyfriend and I broke up. I don't know what to do. I don't want us to be together because of the baby. If I am pregnant this time I am keeping it because obviously God has intervened. I am only 20 and in college and I am so scared to tell my dad.(My mom is dead) I am financially independent but this is gonna be hard. I don't know what to do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2008): I'm sorry you are in such a dreadful situation. You are only 20 and in college and scared to tell your father. You may be financially independent but you must know it would be EXTREMELY difficult(particularly in the current economic climate) to keep and raise the baby all by yourself - and you cannot expect your father to take on that responsibilty either. You will have to tell him sooner or later, however, and face whatever turmoil such news will bring him.
You need to think long and hard: you will have to be a full-time mother for the next twenty years, if you choose to keep the baby.
Do you seriously, honestly, think you are up to it?
Lastly, please do not tell us that "obviously God has intervened" and so you conclude you are meant to have and keep the baby. God didn't do this to you! The truth is, you must have known after your abortion that unprotected sex (Nuvo ring or not) might well result in another pregnancy. Admittedly, you were unlucky, but perhaps your bf was pressuring you to have sex again, and thus you got into this mess once more.
Anyway, what's done is done, and the point is what to do now. If you don't feel you can have another abortion, you do have the option to go through with the birth and then put the baby up for adoption - UNLESS you, after much thought and counselling, come to the decision that you are prepared (financially, emotionally, in terms of time (think years) and to put off or else take considerably longer to get through college and the chance of getting a good job, wish to try raising the baby on your own.
You have to think of what is best FOR THE CHILD (not just of your own interests) and what would be the optimum opportunity for him/her to have a good life. Perhaps with you as a single mother; and perhaps as part of a two-parent adoptive family.
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