A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 9 months, off and on, and I love him.. but he hasnt told me i am cute, pretty or gorgeous..(I always tell him he is gorgeous and cute) it bugs me, because I dress cute for him and want him to notice me.. However, one of my other friends, I will call him Lee, thinks I am gorgeous and cute and he tells me.. and says he would do anything to be my boyfriend.. the thing is..he lives in UK.. I have tried long distance relationships in the past and all have failed miserably. I am meeting Lee for the first time next month, bc he travels alot and is coming to the USA for a business trip with his co-workers.. we have known each other for 2 yrs now and kept in contact via internet, snail mail and phone.. Lee makes me feel good about myself and has been concsidering moving to the USA to be with me.. he told me that my current bf is a dud and blind and needs to realize that he has a beautiful girl , and he needs to count his blessings.. my dilemma is.. I am falling for Lee as much as Lee has fallen for me.. should I leave Daniel for Lee... PS: Daniel does like to smoke his weed and I dont like it.. Lee is 100% drug free.. please help me.. Daniel is 19 and Lee is 23..
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhere is an update, I am in a heavy metal band, I play bass, Lee plays guitar and bass. he wants to come to the USA to spread his business, he does internet sales from the UK. We have talked alot. and he plans on getting a round trip ticket first to see how we do..he plans on coming here November 18th. We have webcams too.. i know the dangers of internet dating and I already did a backgournd check on him, with his permission.. he knows that I am not wanting a serious relationship right now.. he has a working visa and a passport, so getting here would be no problem. my boyfriend, however, seems to be off in another world at the moment! -_- and yes, I really AM 33 yrs old and no I will not date anyone older htan me, bc I look younger.. (I am Asian) thank you..
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2008): Dear Poster
I know you might not like what I am going to suggest, but I am not trying to judge you or upset you. I am merely trying to help you to the best of my ability.
I don't think you should be with either of these tow guys.
I think you should break it of with both. You need to take a break from "guys"; you need to find yourself; yes, who you are, what you want from life and from a partner; your future; your goals; when you have a picture of your life and a vision of your future; decide where and how and what type of person do you want as a partner; then try and meet with people that have those qualities. Be careful of the internet,unless you have actually meet the person you don't know if is real or not. Yes, you may be lucky and he is honest and real but it might also be the other way around.
Control your feelings and emotions until you get to know the guy and if it is the type of person that you are interested in, get to know the person before you start allowing yourself to develop feelings for the person.
You need to take some time for yourself to learn more about relationships and how to attract the right person to you. I think you deserve a happy relationship with somebody who really loves you and cares for you; but you cannot rely that that is the situation only from chatting over the phone and internet. You need somebody that is with you in person and that can hug you and hold you.
Relationships can be difficult at times and long distance even more tricky.
I want you to think very carefully are you really keen on either of these guys? If you meet another guy today that is nice and charming, will you be interested?
I think you owe it to yourself to think about your self and what you want and need from a relationship.
Good luck, best wishes and always keep SMILING.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (24 October 2008):
 You say that you are about to meet Lee 'for the first time next month" - yet you are already considering to commit to this stranger? You claim that you have "known" Lee for two years but have apparently never met face-to-face. Based on letters and e-mail, you are ready to get serious? Are you really in your 30s and living in the U.S.A.?
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A
male
reader, zelgamer +, writes (24 October 2008):
 sometimes when there are problems in our relationships, we look at something else and the grass seems greener. I wont tell you who you should choose, but I will tell you to try to look at your situation realistically. This long distant friend, how can it work out? How long until he moves to the USA, and can you wait and be faithful. Will you get tired of being away and give up on everything. The conversations you have had with him, anything on what he is planning besides just moving to you? What's in his head?It's always nice to be complimented and it's not right that he is not providing you compliments at all, but, just because someone else does, does not mean anything. Honestly, your current boyfriend sounds like a douche, and in all reality you should leave him. In the same time, this other guy, if you don't think it will work out with him, then maybe he isn't the right one either. So, you have three choices, stay with your crappy partner, leave him and go for lee... or leave daniel, don't take lee, and find someone there.Long distance relationships are hard work, very hard work, I was in one for 2 years, I'm married to her now, but just know it can work out, but both of you will have to put some serious backbone to it. Hope I helped.
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