A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i want to ask this question and i want your opinions. I hate my boyfriends watching porn when they are having a relationship with me, what i wanted to know was is there such thing as a man who is not that fussed by it? Who would just take it or leave it and not do it if you said you don't like it? I mean if you are having regular sex. I want to know there is hope.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2012): I will just have to explain that I have dated porn addicts and been cheated on so i refuse to have it in my relationship and hope they take it on board.
A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (13 November 2012):
Porn helps guys masturbate, if they prefer to masturbate than ne with you then you have an issue. If they like offensive or images of children then you have a real issue. If he is not sensitive to your feelings about porn you have an issue. If they use it discreetly while you are away or dont want sex then I think it is pretty normal. There is tons of debate on this topic, but like religion and favorite foods there is no single answer.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2012): I watch it to relieve myself when my GF isn't interested in sex. She knows it, is okay with me doing it, and just does not want to see or hear about it. Its not a big deal for us because we both know it does not threaten our sex life. I only turn to porn after she has made it clear she isn't interested in having sex. Porn is a last resort. Its a weak substitute for real sex with my real partner.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2012): Thank you for your answers. I was expecting to have my head bitten off by people saying it's none of your business what someone does in their own home, you can't control people. That's why i need someone who isnt bothered about porn much anyway.
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female
reader, person12345  +, writes (13 November 2012):
 From the Kinsey institute about 25% don't watch. The numbers are highest among the under 18 group. There are absolutely men who don't watch. My boyfriend doesn't watch, he knows it's a complete dealbreaker for me. He didn't watch before we got together either, but there are men who will stop if they know it bothers their partner. I have TONS of links about this on my profile, I highly recommend you take a look through them.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2012): hi, I wanted to add (i am the anon female that replied first) that it depends on what you can and will tolerate. I can respect couples that enjoy porn seperately or together. What I dont care for are ppl that lie about it and are decietful. You need to be on the page w your partner, and if one or the other cant accept it, then consider moving on or maybe compromising ie watching less or watching it only together. So it really only depends on whats acceptable to you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2012): I'll probably end up with someone doing it behind my back.
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A
female
reader, Staceily +, writes (12 November 2012):
 I saw an article online not too long ago called The Great Male Survey. It was in an online men's magazine. It is a poll of a number of men from all over the world and how they feel on certain issues. This is the link to it-
http://www.askmen.com/specials/great_male_survey/
If you click on the second tab about dating and sex there is a porn question in there. Although I reccomend reading the whole survey because it is interesting. The porn question asked "What value does porn represent for you?" Based on the country it varied, but it was around 19% of men that don't watch it at all. Not a giant percentage, but still there are guys out there who don't care for it, and that's just their own thinking. So don't get discouraged. Men who don't need porn do exist. And even some guys who watch porn can stop if you have a problem with it. Don't think you need to just accept something you aren't comfortable with because he says "all guys do it", it isn't true.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2012): Depends on the people involved I guess, some people are more open minded about porn in relationships than others. Obviously porn isn't a welcome thing in your relationship, but for some others, it can and is used to spice up the sex life etc...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2012): @sageoldguy... really? I'm sure she means that she hates that all the men she has dated watch porn, or that all of the boyfriends she has had are avid porn viewers, just as her current bf. It seems pretty obvious to me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2012): I am a female and I watch porn with my bf, and alone.There are particular actors or scenes that turn me on so I say to him "Oh that looks fun to try.." or "wow I would love it if you pounded me like that" He loves to see Im a vixen.
A ot of guys have explained that i reality they are not attracted to the rubber boobies and fake moans, but it helps them release. I have no problems with porn (as long as it is not something chronic, or that he rather watch it then be with me) but this has not happened.
I have found that once my bfs fid out Im alright with porn and watch it with me, it seems to lose its initial appeal as it is not "forbidden". Tur the isutation around, you know the forbidden things are the biggest temptations.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2012): My husband and I watch porn together and it's kinda funny cause I don't like his type at all. He looks for women who look like me. He likes bigger white women that I find completely unattractive. I prefer tan skinny women and we have to compromise. We both however like DP so we just find some middle ground and we only watch the parts we like. I fast forward all the sucking and we don't watch the cum shots at the end. Just the fun part in the middle. He asks me to put it on sometimes when we aren't 100% in the mood like in the morning when im still sleepy. Other times I tell him im not in the mood. Its not a priority for either of us. If he was hiding it or lying about it I'd be kinda mad though.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2012): Yeah there's loads of men who wouldn't be bothered giving up, don't like it in the first place or don't need to give it up because they only use it while single.
Just don't waste the time of us guys who do use it and refuse to stop OP. I personally use it the odd time and it's never been an issue for any of my girlfriends because it's nothing to do with sex. I would not give it up just to appease any girlfriend. It's my penis thanks, I don't tell you which vibrator you can and can't use.
Of course there's hope, we guys are as varied you ladies, we all have different opinions on things.
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female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (12 November 2012):
As long as my fiance and I have sex regularly, I am not at all fussed with him watching porn. Please keep in mind that I am not okay with him watching or paying live cam girls...this crosses a line in my mind...i'm okay with him watching pre-recorded porn between two (or more) consenting adults.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2012): I realised it didn't sound right. I meant in general when I have a relationship, not that I have multiple bfs.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2012): Not all men like porn, my current boyfriend doesn't own any and when I suggested watching it he didn't want to. My ex on the other hand liked it, he had it on for hours once which really ticked me off because I find it so boring after about half an hour, its all the same!! But he was very good in bed, he found me attractive and he liked filming me, I know its a stupid thing to do! I think he was just into visual stuff. He found me very attractive just like he found them attractive so I didn't feel too bad about him watching it. Its normal and its nothing against you or what he feels for you.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (12 November 2012):
 I've detected the KEY PHRASE in your submittal. It is:
"... I hate my boyfriendS watching porn when they are having a relationship with me.... " Note that I have capitalized the "S" in "boyfriendS"....
Now, please reveal.... how serious are you about A BOYFRIEND when you refer to "boyfriendS" in your submittal.... I ask because... if YOU are a "player" (if you are not open, forthright and forthcoming with your "boyfriends").... then what makes you feel that you have the right to question what THEY DO (not: "HE DOES") on his/their own time....
Something isn't consistent here....
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (12 November 2012):
I've detected the KEY PHRASE in your submittal. It I:
"... I hate my boyfriendS watching porn when they are having a relationship with me.... " Note that I have capitalized the "S" in "boyfriendS"....
Now, please reveal.... how serious are you about A BOYFRIEND when you refer to "boyfriendS" in your submittal.... I ask because... if YOU are a "player" (if you are not open, forthright and forthcoming with your "boyfriends").... then what makes you feel that you have the right to question what THEY DO (not: "HE DOES") on his/their own time....
Something isn't consistent here....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2012): I used to be ok with it, then I dated a porn addict. By addict I dont mean a guy who watches it once a night or a few times a week. I mean all day every day, with or without ppl there, for masturbatory purposes or not, and not being able to go without for even a day. So that killed it for me. But my husband always understood that and he doesnt watch porn. Instead, we make movies of us together and he's very happy with that. So there is certainly hope. I also had to "kiss a lot of toads" before I found him.
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