A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has been watching porn since 13 all the way to 23. We started dating and he stopped shortly after. Our sex life is terrible still. When we first started dating he couldn't get off, it was hard to get him aroused then he lost it. He never touches me. We maybe do something every two weeks and it just makes me feel like crap. After a year he still loses his erection super quick. I try to be sexy for him. This is the first time I've actually been in a relationship with sexual activity, same with him. I've never watch porn tho. We have been dating over a year.Why doesn't he want to touch me or do anything with me? He just seems very passive about it. It been like this for the entire relationship. Is it that he might be too null to a naked woman's body now?I'm not overweight, I try to look pretty for him. I just don't feel special to him sexually. Makes me feel like I've wasted waiting for someone, and not watching porn only hurt me in the end. I just don't know how to feel. I feel like I don't do it for him sexually. Yes, we have spoken about it and he said I was sexy and everything. I just think maybe he has watched too much porn in his life to where I can't be special to him.Note: he is a quiet guy, when we started dating he was pretty self absorbed, only child thing maybe? He has become way more caring towards me (feels fake-ish at times like he is forcing it). He does do caring things like help me with college etc.
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female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (10 September 2015):
 Hon, first of all it is not you - you are gorgeous and sexy! It is about him. He has become so desensitized to porn that nothing in real life does it for him. You will find that he is probably watching more and more bizarre stuff as the vanilla stuff is boring and doesn't do it for him either.
And when the porn doesn't do it for him he will go seeking real-life experiences...
He is broken. He needs help but you cannot help him. He needs to seek help from CSAT [certified sexual addition therapy] and then it is a long road to getting better.
You are young, don't waste your time with this guy he will only bring you pain and suffering.
A
male
reader, Garbo  +, writes (9 September 2015):
 Idk if your guy is permanently damaged, but many studies show that porn carves up abnormal neural pathways in the brain rendering the watcher incapable of having REAL sexual pleasure and unable to sustain an affectionate relationship. These studies also show that porn is most potent in preteens, such as him, where these neural damages are often permanent. You can find those studies here: http://yourbrainonporn.com
Proponents of porn claim that those neural damages may have been already there so the porn use is alleged as a symptom. Basically, people who want to claim that porn is good are playing chicken vs egg game.
Anyway, you don't specify how long you have been with him, but it is likely that he still masturbates on porn at the expense of you. Too much masturbation kills any man's libido let alone for a man who needs a visual artificial erotic stimulus instead of real.
If you are unable to do anything about his porn addiction, then, regrettably, the only recourse is to get another BF. He seems unable and/or unwilling to change so be sure you don't fall victim to a man who neglects himself because he will for sure neglect you in a snap.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (9 September 2015):
 This guy is not your guy, to fix... He is who he is... and he is leaving you feeling as if there, really, is nothing "going on" between the two of you.
Why fight it????? Drop him... and find a guy who is more "mainstream".... meaning one who fits, better, your concept of what a "boyfriend" really is......
Good luck...
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