A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Quick poll for the men, how many of you look at porn when you're in a relationship? How many of you lie about your porn use? How many continue to use porn despite being asked not to? How many of you would actually stop if she asked? How many have never been asked not to but keep it secret from their partners because they know their partner wouldn't be OK with it?Just been seeing questions from tons of hurt women on the site and I'm just wondering.
View related questions:
porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2010): I used to watch porn, but then I did it and I can't watch it anymore. Having that disconnection be so prolific for that period in my life made me crave immediate, intimate contact in sex.
A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (1 May 2010):
 LOL, you're looking for simple answers, as if hundreds of posts on DC, with thousands of answers, hadn't already covered the bases.
I suspect that the reason you haven't had any answers yet is because "it depends." It depends on the relationship, and the age of the people in the relationship, and on a number of other factors. Nonetheless, I wish you luck. Perhaps you'll find the magic answer you're seeking.
...............................
A
male
reader, CkritAgentMan +, writes (1 May 2010):
Yeah I watch some form of it just about every day or two. During an unusually busy day at the office I might not look at anything until lying in bed at night flipping thru the upper cable channels. Usually it's "men stuff" like emails and pics from buds, sometimes I check out things like viewer/customer bikini competitions on various swimsuit sites and yes sometimes I outright click on the bigger sites and watch a quick minute or two clip in the amateur sections. Honestly I like true amateur stuff, the folks nextdoor kinda thing. "Professional porn" with Pam Anderson type women and body builder males with 12" schlongs going at it for hours in ludicrous positions have NEVER appealed to my wife nor myself. I don't know why that is but we've always been that way. I guess it makes it more "real" and believable as well as possible to recreate such scenes and fantasies with my wife. She's not 90#s with DD boobs nor do I have hulking biceps and a foot long dong so I can't pick her up and swing her from the celing fan while cramming my Scud missle in her backdoor. Nor can she pin her heels behind her ears or take me hard, long, dry and quick "in her backdoor". :PMy wife was a virgin when we met in college, she dated plenty of boys and kissed and all that but I am the only man to ever see her naked or have anykind of sex with her. So realistically I "educated her" and being nearly 4 years younger than her, we essentially grew up together. At first she was very inquisitive and curious about porn. She had obviously seen naked pics and "HBO porn" on TV but she honestly had never seen a XXX picture or film and didn't actually believe the actors were really having sex until I showed her her first XXX film. I nearly blew her mind and all she could do is gasp with her hand over her mouth and say over and over, "OMG OMG OMG I can't believe they are ACTUALLY doing that! OMG OMG OMG." :)But as with the rest of life, such trivialties eventually became "old hat" for us and she actually began to develop her own likes and dislikes for types of porn. She doesn't care for bi-sexual, homo-sexual, multi-partner nor inter-racial porn. She also doesn't like overly rough (I think they call it "gonzo" now?) porn. Honestly she likes it to appear as two married, loving couples in a relaxed, sexy atmosphere. Try finding THAT in todays over the top world! Again, I guess in some ways this perhaps is where my preference for amateur couples porn comes from? Another thing I've noticed lately, at least in the realm of the cheesy "HBO/Cinemax porn" late night movies on cable tv, the actresses are less and less the bleach blonde, silicone bimbettes like was common in the 80s and 90s. In fact rarely do most of the actresses even have any surgically enhanced bodies. Most look like plain ol, ordinary, run of the mill, decently attractive people from off the streets. I assume they come from all walks of life. The majority of the time that we have sex in our bedroom it is with the TV on. I'd say perhaps maybe 25% of that time she'll specifically ask me to put the tv on an adult show and we'll watch that as we begin foreplay. Sometimes she'll ask me to completely turn off any type of nudity on the TV. On a really good night after a date when we come storming thru the door already half naked and our hands allover each other, it wouldn't matter if the TV sitting in the corner was ablaze and about to ignite the walls! I have some sexy pics stored on her computer here at home as well as my computer at my office. She knows of them and has seen them herself. She doesn't seem to care. Alot of them are "ideas" I keep with hopes and intentions of later copying with our own camera and a weekend on the lake ourselves, out of town etc... I remember the first time I ever did her doggy style, obviously I was REALLY excited and she could certainly tell it. She laughed and said, "WOW guys really are visual aren't they?" She thought it was silly and couldn't understand the fascination we guys have with such, but she also enjoyed it (and very much continues to today, some 17 years later) and I think for her the fact that it pleased me so much it then pleased her! Likewise when, during one of THE hottest nights of our life, she admitted to masturbating while straddling a pillow during her youth. I nearly came just hearing her talk about it, she jumped up on the bed and proceeded to do it right there in front of me (we had been married for appx 7-8 years and had 2 of our 3 kids before that happened!). The next night she sat in my lap, and I talked her into masturbating her vagina while I played with the rest of her, without a doubt THE sexiest orgasm I've ever seen her have. I say all that to say YES I watch it and YES she watches it and YES we BOTH watch it. But like I said, we both know what the other likes and doesn't like and we keep it within those guidelines. Sex toys also came into the relationship a couple years ago. Just extra ingredients in the "porn cookie" if you will. 17 years of marriage, 3 kids and we STILL continually find ourselves re-inventing our sex life. I guess that's why we still wake up each morning in each others arms with a SMILE!!!CAM
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2010): I'm a girl so I'm already violating the rules here. But I watch porn. I would daily, just about, if I could. But I have a child and a job and things to do, so I don't/can't.
That being said, women, in my opinion, get hurt by the strangest things. Porn stars and magazines. Why? They're fantasies. WHY is it OK for them to have brad pitt on the brain but not her husband/bf/whoever? Seems silly.
Would I stop if I was asked. I don't think so. Wouldn't lie about it either. I would say, if you want to keep me off the internet porn you're going to have to distract me with something else. ;) I'm easy. I've also been called a gay man in a woman's body. Either which way, it's something I do. Something I like. It's visual fantasy and easier than a story or cybering someone...even phone sex.
I know I'm on the wrong end of the stick here. Most guys love that I like porn enough to watch it constantly. They don't always like what I watch though... lol. :) OH well.
Just thought I'd throw in my three cents for the helluvit.
...............................
|
