A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi thereme and my feance are 2gether for 5 years i had a affair with friends and other Men even married once about 6ppl and i keep on wanting to chat with them! Why i dont knowi am very happy with my feance and treuly love him we even tried to have kids but unfortuantly i cant have children i cought him emailing and the other women email nude pictures he also will like keep on looking at a women like he nevar saw one b4!as if im not his feance sometimes he wont mention me at all and says i would like to have sex with her he is very demanding:(what is happening. at a stage we broke up back to gether now again we want to brake up or he does!i am living each day as my fullest with himfamily and friends says i should go my own way but i really want to be with him he is my everythingPlease let me know what is the problem is it me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, agony_uncle_r  +, writes (2 March 2007):
what a mess.your saying you love this guy yet youve slept around behind his back, even with married men.hes sending nude pics to other peoplei cant imagine a worse relationship than yours, i think its a good thing you never produced a child from it(harsh thing to say i know).i say you brake up, go your seperate ways. and learn how to behave as a moral, faithfull loving woman. you cant marry a man you cheat on and who cheats you
A
female
reader, TygersDream  +, writes (2 March 2007):
 Did you have affairs with other men because he was staring at other women or did you cheat on him before he started sending other women his nude pictures?
Either way, he is not satisfied with you - he could have found out about your affairs with other men or he's just bored with the relationship you guys are in. And what do you mean by he's very demanding?
It seems like you guys are going around and around in circles and not actually addressing the real problem - whether you guys love each other enough to get married or not? Is he bothered that you can't have children? Are you bored with the relationship as it is and that's why you've had affairs with other people?
Sometimes women have affairs because the "other" guy pays her the attention she doesn't get from her real fiance/husband/boyfriend. Sometimes she's looking for an exit before she breaks off with this guy. I don't condone this action by any means, but I want you to consider these options if you want to find out what is wrong with your current 'relationship'.
You have to redefine what "your everything" means. Write 3 lists:
a)What qualities you want in a good husband
b)What qualities makes YOU a good wife/fiance/girlfriend
c)What makes a GOOD relationship
Compare these lists to your relationship as it is. Then decide whether you have to look elsewhere for what you want, or whether you can work with what you have. Right now you don't seem to know what you want.
Don't compromise or change your list around, decide that's ULTIMATELY what you want.
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