A
male
age
51-59,
*ild lion
writes:I have a diffcult question that i can't resolve can anyone help!My girl and i have had a lovely time with each other, we always talked about everything and anything. When i met her a year and 1 month ago we started to date each other and no one else. I have been a smoker for 18yrs now, she used to smoke as well and quit 16 yrs ago, so the only way i could date her i had to quit smoking with i did for 11 months well 2 weeks ago i lit up and she asked me if i was smoking and why, i told her yes and i started because of all the personal stress i was going through.We planned on going 4x4 the next day with her girlfriends for a week, and she broke up with me the day before our trip.I totally thought i lost her and never called her. When she came back she was upset with me that i didn't even call her to apoligize, my intution wanted to call her but i spoke with friends and family they told me not to call so i didn't.So instead of calling i emailed her and apoligize. and she emailed me back and said it doesn't make sense and doesn't feel right, told me she will always love me and will have a special place in her heart for me.After i recieved the email i tryied to call her she didn't call me back for 4 days.She called me and asked me if i was trying to break up with her because of my smoking, actually she was right because i had alot of personal crap going on moving,storage,my claim, and the house i been fighting to buy and i didn't want her involved right then because i thought i would bring her down, i know i should of asked her opion but i didn't i was stubborn.Then we had a emotional face to face talk last Tuesday about my smoking and told me that thats a big thing she can't stand and i understand, i told her i quit and i did because i had chest pain but she knows i have a addictive personality and told me that you can start again, and she said you know i want a healthy lifemate to spend the rest of my life with. And she is afraid i will have complications and would have to take care of me in the hospital i see her point but i quit. We had a trip planned to Montana for 2 weeks and she wanted to go byherself now and told me not to call her on her trip i said ok, and she told me not to call her pet names i said ok, then she said if it's meant to be together we will. Final thought she said she wants to still be friends.To rap it up i went in detail so you all can understand what has happen so here are my questions:1. Should i call her when she gets back from Montana? Or should i wait for her call?2. She never mention to me i can't email her, so since shes been in Montana i have emailed her what was going on with me in work and what i did that day,never wrote any words telling her i want to get back together Should i stop emailing her?3. If she doesn't call how long should i wait to give her a call?4. I never agreed on the break up, when we had our face to face conversation is it to late for me to agree on the break up now?This is my 1st great relationship i have had and i don't have enough knowledge what i should do.Please help me resolve this matter, and hopefuly get my girl back and if you all have any pointers i'm listening.Thanks and Blessings,Chris
View related questions:
broke up, get back together Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, boredgirl22 +, writes (8 August 2009):
Alright Chris, I'm not an expert but I have been through the same thing. First of all stop calling her and emailing her. No offense but she probably thinks you'r starting to sound desperate and I can understand if you are but you have to let her go off by herself and realize how bad she misses you and needs you. And if she doesn't call or email back in about 5 months then you should either do something exravagent like send her flowers or do something that would surprise her, show her you'r brave enough to do something you normally wouldnt to get her back or just call it enough if it wasn't ment to be it wasn's ment to be. This just could be another stepping stone through your pathway of finding your perfect soulmate.
A
male
reader, raven100  +, writes (8 August 2009):
Hi Chris,Have you asked yourself what is the real reason of that situation? How much time do you spend together? What kind of person are you in relationships? Do you agree with all her ideas and suggestions? Are you just a strict guy? Women love strict guys, no matter what they say, they really need strict guys. The situation is just like that: she is doing what she wants, she is going on trips, having fun, laughing, and what are you doing? You are just waiting, very politely for her. Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging you, I'm just trying to say that she has all aces, and you just wait for her move.It's obvious for me, that you love her much stronger than she. You should be sure that she loves you, maybe don't ask her, just observe her moves. If she doesn't respect your feelings now, imagine what gonna be after you marry her. brrGood luck good man!R.
...............................
|
