A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:I am sick of my friends not listening to me and then punishinhg me with rumors and the silent treatment. OK. Sometimes, it's fun for me, JUST TO HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEBODY. It's fun and it's safe and I can feel all happy inside and I don't have to worry about aything. I like when some of my guy friends or just someone nice at shool makes me laugh or just thinking they're cute or something. I've had guys like me before but when they like me back, it ruins it. I don't know why, I just lose my crush and get annoyed with them for being around all the time. Stuff that was cute then becomes annoying. I've had boyfriends before, but it's more like it just becomes ASSUMED that we're boyfriend and girlfriend and it ruins it. That's because NONE OF THEM have ever taken me on a real date and they always dump me before birthday, christmas, or any school dance and they want to go back out. ALL they want to do is get me away from my friends so we can be somewhere private so we can kiss. I HATE KISSING and that's another reason I don't want a boyfriend. I don't want to get physical. I told my friends that but then they started calling me gay and I get made fun of enough as it is! When I broke up with one guy for kissing me in the middle of the hall no one would speak to me for a week! Please help me.
View related questions:
broke up, christmas, crush, kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (6 April 2018):
 Here is my advice:
1. Get new friends who respect you and actually care about you.
2. Stop worrying about boys if you genuinely couldn't be bothered.
Stop forcing to be who you aren't just to appear to be more acceptable within your friend group. They sound like jerks.
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (4 April 2018):
 You're not ready for dating, so stick to hanging out in groups and KINDLY telling boys who like you that you just want to be friends. It's good to not let boys cross your boundaries, but you also need to politely let them know you're not interested. No flirting, OP.
As for your friends, perhaps try to make new ones because friends shouldn't be mean to each other.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2018): You have control over everything. They're boys and they do what boys do. If you don't want to be kissed, tell them you don't want to be kissed. If you don't want a boyfriend, simply tell them you don't want a boyfriend. You only want to hangout or just be friends.
If you freakout like a drama queen, hurt people's feelings, or purposely embarrass guys who like you; others who like him are going to be mean to you. They don't like the fact you hurt him for liking you. That is a mean thing to do.
He shouldn't touch or kiss you without permission. You do have to a right to be angry if he does things without permission. If that was the case, what other people think doesn't matter.
Kids are going to tease you no matter what you do. You have to be tough; or you'll never make it through middle or high school. You have a right to set whatever boundaries you like with boys, or your friends; and you have a right to stand-up for what you believe. That makes you a strong person.
Don't call people friends who mistreat you for standing-up for yourself. Don't be mean to boys who like you, just tell them what your guidelines and rules are. No touching or kissing unless you give them permission!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2018): First of all, good on you for knowing what you want and don't want! If you know you don't like kissing, then you know you're not ready for a relationship. The thing is this: if you go on "dates", those are reserved for people who are going out or trying to go out. If you're not interested in that, then you're just hanging out. There's nothing wrong with that at all but with guys, you NEED to be up front and say, "Anthony, I'd love to hang out with you some time but I want you to know I just want to do it as friends". Then, pay your OWN way.Also, I know that giggly-giddy feeling can be fun, but it sends the wrong message if you're really not interested in more than friendship. Think of it this way: do you see guys acting giddy-giggly with each other? Do you see girls acting giddy-giggly with their brothers or male cousins? No, you don't. I know it's hard when you like the attention but you really have to put a lid on that behavior, you're unintentionally sending the wrong message.If ANY guy tries to get you alone, DON'T LET HIM! You have to be straightforward, "I came here to hang out with the group, I don't want to go off alone". If it's a situation where people pair off for that, use your cell phone to call your parents to come pick you up, when people ask you to go hang out GET SPECIFICS first. "Where are we going? Who all is going to be there? Are your parents going to be around? What will we be doing?" This way, you can avoid situation like that in the first place. Two more things: if you have made it clear that you're not ready to get physical or be in a relationship and your "friends" give you the silent treatment or start rumors about you, then they are NOT your friends. It's better to have no friends than to have friends like that! Tell them that you will not be taking their calls or going anywhere with them because they don't respect you. They're bullies. Tell your PARENTS what happened and because of the rumors, you have grounds to report them and anything else they try to do to you! Second thing: if guys break up with you before holidays and dances, it's because they don't want to spend money or time on you, they just see you as someone to make out with and ditch whenever they want. You deserve better!
...............................
|
