A
female
age
36-40,
*Joanneyx
writes:I don't really know where to start, here goes! i have been in a relationship for almost 5years and myself and my fiance hit a rough patch and it had been hard for a little while and neither of us where happy. i kept it together as we have a 2year old child together. 1 week ago i found out he had slept with another girl from work two months prior, she is 17 and was a virgin, hes 25 and i am 22. in my heart of hearts i knew something wasnt right he was working 60 hours a week and allways late home, my gut told me he was doing something he shouldnt but my head told me he wasnt! my life is shattered into a million pieces i have obviously kicked him out! i just dont know what to do! what makes it worse is that she lives on the same street as his mum and that is where he is currently living! im hurting so so much but cant show my feelings as i dont want my dughter to see me upset. everyone keeps telling me time is the best healer. i cant cope with this, i hate myself. someone please help me
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2008): Oh no, Don't hate yourself. You've done nothing wronge. You are being stronge for your daughter and you are being a great mum.
What he did was terrible and it is natural that you feel like this. Anyone would.
You really need to talk to someone close to you about how you are feeling. Try not to bottle it up. Do you have any friends that could look after your little girl whilst you talked another friend or you mother, or could your parents babysite whilst you talked to a friend.
He should be ashamed of himself. You deserve so much better.
It will be very hard to get over what he has done (whether you choose to be with him again or not), but you seem like a strong lady and hopefully you will begin to see that you are not the guilty one.
Ooh. I have just read what ":):):)" said. She is right. I hope that you are ok and that things work out well for you. If you need someone to talk to you can always mail me. Sometimes it is easier to talk to someone who is completly detached.
Good Luck. X
A
female
reader, xJoanneyx +, writes (25 May 2008):
xJoanneyx is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you for taking the time out to help me. your message hs given me strenth to get through today and i am very greaful. take care xx
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A
female
reader, :):):) +, writes (25 May 2008):
You have every right to be upset and confused honey you really didnt derserve this, but dont hate yourself, you did nothing wrong and you are being a great mother. But I guess it all boils down to what happens next. What he did was wrong and Im very glad you have thrown him out.
Do you feel you can trust him again? Do you feel that he is sorry for what hes done? If the answer is yes to both questions then maybe you could think of reconcilling in time. If not then you must start looking to the future, at the moment, the pain is still raw and your friends are right, time is a great healer, but there are things you can do to speed up the process. get out of the house, do things that make you happy, see your friends and talk about how you feel.
You and your daughter deserve to be happy so choose what is right for you and do what feels right.
Good luck
xxx
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