A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone!, I need advice and it has nothing to do with sex or anything like that. I just graduated from highschool yesterday(I didn't go to graduation though)and I picked up my diploma at school today. I also bought my yearbook which I wasn't planning to buy. I started hating school my secong year (10th) because I was really popular and there were always rumors about me so I got frustrated and started to focus and keep to myself. This year as a senior I didn't participate in barely any senior activities, don't get me wrong people still know me but im no longer ms. Popular. I've also lost all my "friends" and today when I was in school getting my diploma, its like I was non existant, I feel like despite the fact that I've been nice to everyone I feel like I won't be missed. I feel like I accomplished something by graduating highschool but it's like nobody cares. Nobody called me to say congrats or anything and I feel horrible and lonely.I wanna go back to being my old popular, fun self again but I don't wanna deal with that drama anymore. I used to dress really nice and stuff but now I don't care, I used to be really materialistic and always be on point but now I don't feel as pretty as I used to. Ever since I cut my hair it hasn't grown back as long as it used to be and its not as full either, its also become sooooo dry. My boyfriend loves me I know he does but he's really handsome and dresses really nice and likes to shop in expensive stores like saks and barney's but I shop in forever21, he doesn't like that . We met when I was a freshman and he was a senior (the days I used to dress nice). We kept in touch then started going out. I could tell that sometimes he doesn't think im pretty cz I don't keep myself up all the time and it hurts. I'm really insecure now, and have problems loving myself. I don't wanna feel lonely anymore. Im tired of only having my boyfriend to talk to, I wanna make friends but I have a problem trusting people cz of the backstabbing I've endured.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2008): From what I understand, you used to be popular, and managed to find yourself a good looking boyfriend who is also popular too. Because of the jealousy you attracted, you tried to change your self-image and stopped partaking in social activities. Now you want to go back to being Ms Popular, but you don't want the backstabbing and cruelty that goes with it. From your description of the materialism, vanity and other hurtfull stuff, it seems that being Ms Popular in this way also goes along with being hurt. You choose to leave this scene for a reason, because you didn't have friends, but you had plenty of enemies willing to tear you down. Are you sure that this is a world that you want to go back to. If you do, just start calling up your old friends, start socializing again and get back to the old you in your own world.
There's no reason why you can't still look nice. Do you try to look nice for yourself or other people. Your boyfriend stays with you, no matter how you look, so I must assume he likes you for yourself. To me your old friends seem a little shallow, I can't understand why they didn't call, but then again I don't understand why you didn't call them. Were you true friends, or were they your friends because you were popular. Anyway, contact them, if they were true friends I'll bet they'll be glad to know you miss them and want to meet up again. Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2008): Somehow from your story it makes me think that you only tried to make friends with your old "friends" and you didn't try to make new ones. Did you try to talk to people who were "out" of your circle of friends? For some reason I doubt this. What you can do is talk to people in your neighborhood. Interact with them. What you can also do is if you're going to college, you can interact with people there too. Assuming you were really popular, you already know how to talk and approach people, so use this with others. About the back stabbing, just try to hope the best of your new friends you'll make and please NEVER overlook someone and NEVEr do to someone something you don't want to be done to you.
If you're boyfriend thinks you're ugly, then he doesn't love you. I'm sorry to come off this strong, but it's true. My boyfriend (and many other girl's boyfriends) has told me that I look beautiful even on my PJs and without make up. Try talking to him the way you feel and if he asserts to you that he thinks you're ugly, then dump him. I know it sounds way easier than to be done (because you sound like you really love him) but you can't stay with someone who's only with you because of looks.
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