A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Whats the best way to work with cliquey work colleagues? Hospital environment, not an office..Most (not all) younger and will say hi but chit chat/laugh etc with each other and almost ignore you? You try to talk to them, but they often they wont make much effort anyway.. thye are too busy chatting to each other.. (and no I dont need to be their buddies but I DO have to work with them) I have to be nice! or I wont fit in, and no im not leaving, like my job and need it! dont tell me to leave...My work requires working as a team at times so... i cant totally ignore them! dont say that. I hate cliques at work but yes they are part of all work places... my work place seems to be several cliques..being the odd one out.has. good and bad points but still difficult.ohh.. and I cant ask them out anywhere,it would look odd, weird.remember im older than most of them, and they dont see me as a buddy..I am much older than them (me in late 30s, some of them mid-late 20s, some early 20s,) they are nearly all friends and most socialise together...They arent nasty just cliquey..it would look weird or desperate of me to ask them out, and.. they would feel obliged to say "yes sure" when they dont want to, and i cant bring in cakes or cookies/food to work to someone else does this!(and im not a cook!) Our work xmas party is in ja, with all of us and ill try to chat more then.. we will see..I have tried asking them about things (but i often get vague or aloof replies..with some of them) and not talking about me, (unless its in the course of convo)Guess ill try to join in convo, when i can,, and always be positive/say hi, so they cant say im negative.. am quieter which ist easy..its hard being left out.sorry for length, appreciate genuine answers,pleasedont be nasty!need advice.thanks
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (20 December 2012):
 Late 30s... so let's say 38
early 20s so let's say 23 so the gap is a whopping 15 years. heck my husband is 13 years younger than I am. One my my best friends is 20 years younger than I am.
You and the co-workers have a lot in common with work... stop putting yourself on the shelf of old age so quickly.
I think you are making a huge issue about an age gap that does not exist.
A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (20 December 2012):
 Hi
Ok so the culture there appears to be for younger employees, in your area anyway.
Are there others in another Dept you are friends with,if so it wouldn't matter if your not in their clique as long as all are professional ?
Have a chat to the HR Dept about your problem, it's their role to look after employees,they can help resolve it,especially as you have been there years.Thats what I would do.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2012): this is the poster
im not a newbie!!!!
ive worked there for yrs!!!!
im not new and i do try!
my boss will say hi and bye and sometimes talj but she is 30 and part of the clique!!!
advice appreciated
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (20 December 2012):
Hi
You don't say how long you have been working with them, it takes time to be accepted,whatever the age gap. The only thing by the sounds of it,you have in common, is the job so thats what a chat would be about.
Why TRY to fit in with them,just let them accept you as a colleague,(work cliques are harder when your the newbie too).Your being polite and friendly,they aren't being nasty,could be thats how it will stay for now.
You could ask them advice on a christmas present for somebody their age.
You could also mention it when you have your appraisal with your boss, or even before?
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