A
female
age
36-40,
*harbaby
writes:This might be a bit long so sorry but really don't know what too do any more.. me and the boyfriend/ex have been together coming up 2 years!! 6 months ago he changed and decided he didn't wanna be with me any more and got with some one else. Him being my 1st love it broke my heart, He was only with this girl for a few weeks or so I heard (I never actually asked him about it) now ever since he changes like the wind one day he wants me the next he tells me to leave him alone. He makes no effort with me, I text him no reply.. but then the next day he will be all lovely say he missses me etc... I think I already know the answer to this but is he stringing me along messing with my head for the hell of it? I just love him so much and don't know how I will move on I really don't :(
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female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (10 December 2008):
 I know how difficult this is as I have been in a similar situation.
What you need to do, even though I realise this is so hard, is tell him that he needs to leave you alone so that you can move on because you can't go on with him treating you in this way. Send him this in an email or text and then get his number blocked. If he replies before you get it blocked, do NOT respond. I realise this is very very difficult, but this is the only way as he clearly doesn't like the idea of you moving on, even though he doesn't want to be with you anymore.
Have no contact with him and leave it at that for now until you know for SURE that you can face him without having any feelings.
With him out of your life for a while, you can rediscover the person you left behind in all this - you.
Do something you enjoy. Go out for some exercise at the gym or just a run around the block, this will clear your head a bit and get you out of the house for a while.
When you start thinking about him, block out these thoughts and look in the mirror and say to yourself " I am worth ten of him and he will not get at me. I lived without him before I met him, and I'll live without him now. I DON'T need him." Even put on some self-empowerment music or something that makes you happy. Music always helps me change my thoughts and emotions and I feel sure that if you listen to happy music, you will feel better in yourself.
Do something that you don't usually fit into your schedule - baking, reading, or something you always want to do, but never get round to. Make time for it and learn something new. Keep yourself busy. Don't allow yourself to go into your room and curl up in thought because this just conjurs up memories.
You don't need him, hun. You CAN and WILL get through this. I did.
I hope this helps and look after yourself. xx
A
female
reader, xxadoseofmorphine +, writes (10 December 2008):
This guy is playing you around. You poor thing *hugs*
What you need to do is communicate with him face to face, privately, and tell him how he's making you feel. Say you don't just want to be someone he falls back on when he's not in a bad mood or hasn't got anybody else: you want to know where his allegiance stands, and if he can't give you a straight answer, as hard as it is, you will have to both move on. I know it'll be hard and it'll hurt-- but you deserve better than what he's treating you as. He could have a reason for these sudden mood changes -- is he having problems at home? Talk about it to him, and see if you get anywhere. Feel better soon 3
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