A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I have known each other for about 9 months, we work in the same place but in different departments, we were friends for 6 months and we were gf/bf for 3 months. I'm six years older then my bf I'm 28 but we act and look the same age and that was never a problem. we broke up because we started to argue a lot. it was something really silly i can be quite insecure at times and if my ex went quiet while he was in my company i would keep asking if he was okay or if he was upset with me, i hate myself for it and its ruined our relationship.My ex suffers from depression and I knew this when we got together and he didnt want a relationship because of it but realised how he felt for me and what i felt for him we were gonna give it a chance. so we did and it was great. my ex had difficulties going out and was getting counselling. so I would go out and do some food shopping for him, pick him up from work to try and make life easier for him I wanted to do what ever I could because I loved him. i dont know much about depression but I bought books for my ex and coping cd's and strategies I felt that it was my contribution to my bf because I wanted to help him.I cared so much for him never cheated was always loyal to him just made some silly mistakes, then one evening we had a massive row on the phone and we didnt talk for days and I hate that and because I was so upset I said it was over, its not what i really wanted i didnt know what i was thinking, then I went on facebook telling everyone how upset I was and he didnt like and that i could understand thats what I mean I have done silly things that I regret. I tried to say sorry and did the pleading and begging but he said that he couldnt handle it any more and his health was more important. I was so upset and still am, he told me he was so ready to live his life with me and he accepted my little boy who is 3 and for that I was eternally grateful and i went and ruined everything.We broke up on the 23rd April and i have been devastated, I've been feeling unwell. I saw my ex at work the last time on the 4th may and we spoke but had another row he said he cares about me but needs to be on his own to get better. it was horrible day we just kept shouting at one another, then the next day he removed me from facebook and he sent me a text msg to say that he was going to change his number he said that I had made my decision i didnt want to be friends because Im still in love with him, so he said that i kept pushing and pushing but I was panicking I didnt want to lose him. he said please stop saying I dont care and leave me alone I had nothing but love for you and you threw it back in my face. please dont contact me.So since then I didnt contact him and a week had passed and on wed 13th may a week later he phoned me but I was unable to answer so he left a voice msg he said that he hopes im okay and that he is sorry that he didnt get intouch and that he still cares for me and hasnt forgotten what I have done for him he also said that he knows I will find someone who will treat me so good the way he should have. he said he is trying to get better, and he also said he has been an arsehole and that im better then him i was in tears to hear that all I wanted to do was hug he is a decent guy and Ive lost him forever. he said that he wants to be friends Then when I was able to I texted him back because I was about to have counselling myself because I been so upset and in the text I said that was okay and that i would like to be friends even tho I still love him and want to be my boyfriend again i agreed its breaking my heart, he was at work and he said if i was nearby then I was more then welcome to come and say hello to him, i didnt get the chance and that havent seen him for 2 weeks and haven't spoken to him for 2 weeks either.I really want to be with him again, he seems to have gotten over me without any problems he is going out more, when we were together we never went out i wanted to go to the cinema and meals because I was proud of him, but I understood that going out to busy places was hard for him so I respected that and was willing to wait and now we are not together he goes out a lot more I feel cheated. I'm frightened that the more time passes the less he thinks of me and he will forget all about me and Im worried that he will meet someone else, I tried to do my best to make him happy Do you think that I would ever get another chance? I love him so much and hate feeling like this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your advice interestingly he said that if i didnt break up with him he wouldnt have broken up with me i said it in the heat of the moment
A
female
reader, bananaa  +, writes (18 May 2009):
 I have the same problem and my love for him never goes away. It sounds like he is moving on and it sounds like you don't have much of a chance. I really don't have any advice to get him back. Maybe if your his friend he might see stuff in you that he misses. (I'm just a young teen and I can't word things properly)
Hope this helps
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A
male
reader, abhimen  +, writes (18 May 2009):
You are an emotional person & so if you learn to control your emotions for someday he'll realize the change within you & realize your importance.Lovers don't wait for chance,they create & grab the chances.Keep loving the way you do but don't say it verbally,let your actions speak for you & i'm sure if he realizes that your presence does make a difference in his life then he'll come running after you.
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