A
female
age
41-50,
*ichelle74
writes:I broke up with the father of my child almost 2 years ago and since that time I have been in a new relationship with a man that I care for deeply. The problem is that I don't feel like I have stopped loving my ex. We were together for 13 years and I moved across states for him and loved him with all my heart. We had our problems and I felt like he just didn't love me sometimes but I'm sure he did. Anyway after we had our daughter I had my tubes tied because I felt like we would be a family forever. Having the mother and father together was my only major life goal. Well now even though my new guy is great to my kids I still always feel an emptiness like its not truly a family. I don't know if it is because I never had that when I was a child or what but it haunts me constantly. I really wish I knew what to do or how to let go either way I have to do something because it is tearing me apart. Should I try it again with him? I know my daughter would be happy that is all she ever talks about and it breaks my heart. Please help! How do I move on or should I go back?
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female
reader, LauraLou90  +, writes (10 September 2009):
 You need to look at this from both sides.
Who could you see yourself being happiest with? Fair enough your new guy gets along with the children great, but you need to go with your heart! I hear this all the time, people stuck in a love triangle, and no one else apart from yourself can point you in the right direction. Me personally, if you love someone, it doesnt go away just like that, as i have learnt from my own experiences, and it will always be in both your head and your heart. But think, would your ex partner be man enough to take on the responsibility of one again becoming a full time father and patner? If so, then go for it! True love never lies.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2009): Go back for what exactly?
If you have a great guy that treats you and your kids right, then what more can you want? To me those are the best steps for a great family.
Also stop wishing for things to be different from what they are. Reliving the pain of your life is a choice you make yourself, you drag 'unresolved issues' from the past into the present only to relive them again. Often enough because you cannot understand or accept what happened, and hope that this endless series of reliving it, will somehow lead to some form of understanding or acceptance in the future.The past is over, the future is not yet. Be present in the Present and deal with what you find thére.
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