A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I can't belive I am sitting here writing this. I am so sad and guilty ... My husband and I have been together for almost 8 years. We are high school sweethearts so to speak and have been married for just under a year now. My husband has some anger and mood issues that I have always seemed to be able to ignore until recently. The things he says are starting to stick in my head and they hurt. He has never physically hurt me... but the words are starting to affect me. I have lost a lot of self esteem, never feel good enough and started to hit a depression point. We barely speak *unless its an arguement* and we can't seem to connect in any way - emotionally, physically etc. I have tried to speak to him ... but he lacks in communication :( He refuses to try marrage counciling and that hurts. Well anyways, i have recently been having STRONG feelings for another man. This scares me as in 8 years I have never felt feelings for anyone else. (Hubby has and made an attempt at cheating in the past) He has made me realize that I want more in life and I am so scared I want to leave my husband for him. I feel like I am going to be trapped for a long time in a unhappy relationship ... but worried these feelings are just lust and i am going to make a big mistake :( I still love my husband and care for him ... but moreso in a "best friend" kind of way?Should I leave this other man alone and focus on my husband and the problems? Should I go to councelling on my own for the marrage sake? Please help ... I am so sad and torn inside. I feel horrible and have no clue what to do ... i know nothing other then live this way him him. Thank you so much for listening!
View related questions:
self esteem, trapped Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2008): hey girl..dont feel bad for writing..cuz dats what were hea for...what you feel is what you feelnobody can judge youits sad when something so good and beautiful can turn into something thats ugly and hurts.if your husbund shows no attempt in making your relationship work and if he has made an attempt at cheating, you have to ask yourself...is this the ideal relationship? is this the situation you want to be in?if instantly you answe is 'no' then you need to seperate from your husbund for a while.you are young, and if you have done your best to try and make you marriage work, then go on a break, go and stay with a friend, even if it is fo a week or a month.decide on what you want, can you live without your husbunds companionship? do you want to see how it could be with this other man? on ur break, go on a simple date with the other man...dont do anything you may regret, just a 'friendly' meal...get to know himbalance out both of them, but do not cheat on your husbund, if you want to be with the other man and be back on the dating scene, i reckon you should end your elationship first and get your head/heart in focus.only you kno whats best for u..god blessfriend
A
female
reader, banditsmom1124 +, writes (25 March 2008):
 is ur husband suffering from depression? if so mayb he needs help
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2008): As you are married i would suggest leaving the other man out of this as it will really just make things worse in my opinion.
You need to sort out how you feel about your husband and so i would say yes to your question about whether you should go to councelling alone, maybe he will come with you when he sees you making an effort. If not you will get to talk things through with someone who may be able to help you decide whether you've made a mistake marrying your husband or not.
...............................
|
